Sometimes we’re the ones at fault

September is National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month, so Health and Wellness Channel bloggers are discussing the twelve steps to recovery as it relates to our readers. Mine is -

Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character

At first look, “defect of character” seems little to do with nurturing healthy children. But if I may, our weaknesses have a lot to do with keeping our children healthy and productive. And I certainly have plenty of these defects.

Belatedly into the training, I realized that I have no patience for teaching my daughter the proper way to potty. I just got easily frustrated with her. Because of what I perceived her weakness to be - her refusal vs. inability - made me angry with her many times. I thought I had done everything the books said, and she wouldn’t just cooperate. In one of those angry moments, I said and did something that I totally regret, and she regressed even more. She was so pressured that she couldn’t do it. It wasn’t until I admitted that the weaknesses, the defects in character, were mine - my impatience, my over-expectation, my anger, that I began to ease the pressure off from my daughter. I had to admit that I can’t do it by myself. I need God to make things right for us.

It was very humbling on my part, because even after I made peace with her - I asked forgiveness from a 3 year-old - the consequences of what I had done were already formed. I had to retrain her over a much longer period. Eventually she did learn, on her own accord when she was mentally ready. 

Of course defects in character don’t go away overnight, even after surrendering them all to God. It’s a work in progress. I’m a work in progress. When I refused to admit my weaknesses, and held on to my reasoning, when I tried doing it my way, the road to freedom was taking much longer and harder. But it’s half the battle, to be willing for God to remove these weaknesses from me.

Are there things in your life, as a parent or caregiver, that hinder your children’s development? You’re not a bad parent for having them. We’re just human, and we have so many weaknesses that can affect our family and their health. Maybe it’s our bad unhealthy habits and lifestyle. Maybe it’s our impatience. Maybe it’s the temptations or guilty pleasures that we give in so easily. When we are ready to have God remove our defects in character, then our family becomes healthier, more at peace and safer.

For the 11 other Steps to Recovery, Healthbolt links to all of them.