Southern Hospitality or Common Courtesy?

My husband said he didn’t read my “yes ma’am/no sir” post yesterday but he did scroll down to read the comments … I suppose because I mentioned that I was elated to get three replies. (Sometimes it feels like no one is reading … sigh.) He said Peggy’s comment struck him because – yes ma’am/no sir aside – he thought things like opening doors for women was just common courtesy. It struck me too. Surely that isn’t a trait limited to the South? Have I lived here so long that I have taken for granted how truly kind it is?

I appreciate a Southern gentleman, but I will never wear this dress

Rick reminded me how I threw a fit last weekend when I got home from Publix. It was pouring rain and I had to drive my car to the front of the store to load the millions of bags of groceries into the trunk. Apparently all the baggers were tied up with other customers (and I tip well, even though Publix insists we shouldn’t tip) because none were in sight. So I loaded the car in the rain (the awning was three feet shy of my car so loading was a drenching experience) while a handful of people stood by and watched. Had one actually offered to help I would have insisted I could do it on my own. But still, it would have been nice to be asked.

Had Rick been standing there and seen a woman pathetically loading her car in the rain, he would have offered to help. He was just raised that way. He still opens my car door and always asks if he can get me a drink when he goes to get his own. And he always does the heavy lifting for me. He learned these things from his father, a true Southern gentleman.

Did you ever see that episode of Andy Griffith – I think it was that show – where Andy is talking to Opie … or maybe it was Thelma Lou (or was that Barney’s girl?) and he told whoever he was talking to that a true gentleman carries two handkerchiefs – one for himself and one to give to the lady? When I first started dating Rick we visited his family and I think I sneezed or something because his father handed me a handkerchief. I must have looked at him strangely because he said that was his extra one. He always carried two handkerchiefs. I thought it was the most chivalrous thing a man had ever done for me.

Rick reminds me I am more of a Southern belle than I give myself credit for. I was the one, after all, who insisted he talk to my father before he proposed to me. He thought it was an outdated notion, but it was important to me. So after putting it off as long as humanly possible, he finally took my father aside and asked for my hand in marriage. I’m not sure who was more uncomfortable – Rick or my dad. My mother and I, however, giggled like school girls when we found out the meeting actually happened.

Call it Southern hospitality or common courtesy, I do hope my son learns how much women truly appreciate a gentleman. First, though, I probably should teach him how to stop talking with his mouth full and calling other people “poopy head!”

Photo, Flickr, Jim Moore