Speak, Part II

Photo by Me-Liss-A (flickr.com)

Replies continue to come in on the question posted on another forum, “If you could say one thing to your relatives about your autistic child, what would it be?”

“Have empathy,” said one respondent. “”He’s still family. Don’t forget he exists,” said another. And still another: “Open your eyes!”

“Do not be afraid,” one reply said. “Do not feel sorry for us or our child. He is the greatest gift/blessing we could ever have in our lives. We are happy we were chosen to care for this person.”

“My wonderful Aspie is now 16 years old, and we have overcome so many hurdles,” one respondent said. “If I
could turn back to yesterday, these are some of the things that I would have said: ‘It is not my lack of discipline that has made him this way and I don’t appreciate being told that is it poor parenting.’ ‘It’s okay that you didn’t invite me to family get togethers because my child is too high-strung. Someday when he is older you will regret your decision to exclude us all those times’ (and they did regret!). ‘Yes, I have to remind him to say “thank you” when you give him something. It’s not that he is spoiled, rude, or ungrateful. It’s just that sometimes he forgets our social standards.’ I couldn’t stop at just one comment either!”

With an eye to celebrities and debate: “Please stop judging our love for our child based on our (un)willingness to try every anecdotal therapy you hear about from Jenny McCarthy or Oprah.”

“Love him because he’s different,” said another. “He’s no one to fear and deserves the same love and respect as his siblings.”

I’ve always liked to think people liked me because I was different.

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Autism Speaks Family Services has released its Autism Safety Project, which provides first responders with information and guidelines for communicating with individuals with autism in emergency situations.