(Special Needs) Mommy Wars
September 2, 2008 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
Forgive me for writing another post about Governor Sarah Palin and her family. Her selection as Senator John McCain’s running mate, and the recent reporting of her 17-year-old daughter, Bristol Palin, being pregnant, have cast her thoroughly into the public eye and, one suspects, in more than unexpected ways. What first piqued my interest about Sarah Palin was that she’s the mother of a (very young) special needs child and, too, a working mother.
The September 1st New York Times describes the uproar over Palin as “Mommy Wars: Special Campaign Edition”:
With five children, including an infant with Down syndrome and, as the country learned Monday, a pregnant 17-year-old, Ms. Palin has set off a fierce argument among women about whether there are enough hours in the day for her to take on the vice presidency, and whether she is right to try.
It’s the Mommy Wars: Special Campaign Edition. But this time the battle lines are drawn inside out, with social conservatives, usually staunch advocates for stay-at-home motherhood, mostly defending her, while some others, including plenty of working mothers, worry that she is taking on too much.
“How is this really going to work?” said Karen Shopoff Rooff, an independent voter, personal trainer and mother of two in Austin, Tex. “I don’t care whether she’s the mother or the father; it’s a lot to handle,” she said, adding that Ms. Palin’s lack of national experience would only make her road more difficult.
“When I first heard about Palin, I was impressed,” said Pamela Moore, a mother of two from Birmingham, Ala. But upon reading that Ms. Palin’s special-needs child was three days old when she went back to work, Ms. Moore began questioning the governor’s judgment. Partly as a result, she plans to vote for Senator Barack Obama.
Other mothers are cheering Palin on for her pro-life stance. In the words of “conservative organizer” Phyllis Schafly, who has six children and ran for Congress:
“People who don’t have children or who have only one or two are kind of overwhelmed at the notion of five children…….I think a hard-working, well-organized C.E.O. type can handle it very well.”
I guess it could also be pointed out that people get overwhelmed at the thought of raising a special needs child. As the New York Times notes, “Infants with Down syndrome often need special care in the first years of life: extra tests, physical therapy, even surgery.” (Michael Bérubé’s Life As We Know It: A Father, a Family, and an Exceptional Child contains a harrowing account of the medical needs of the infant Jamie, who has Down Syndrome, and who required round-the-clock care.)
Charlie still requires 1:1 teaching at school with highly trained staff; I can’t just ask a neighbor to watch him. Much of Charlie’s early childhood involved one appointment after another, and hours of mental energy and attention devoted to learning about autism, learning about and accessing treatments, studying ABA and verbal behavior and oral-motor therapy, making up picture schedules and flashcards (and going through at least two laminators). I was working full-time when Charlie was diagnosed at the age of 2; we were able to do a full year of intensive ABA at home for Charlie because Jim was on sabbatical and was home all the time. I soon resigned from my job when Jim’s sabbatical ended and worked part-time for awhile, then (after we came back to New Jersey) full-time, as a writing instructor at a largish northern New Jersey university. This job involved reading and grading piles of papers every week; I think I spent almost every night for four years surrounded by papers.
In 2005, I started my current job as a professor of Classics at a small Jesuit college in Jersey City. Almost immediately, I was given administrative and academic advising duties. These (along with my enrollments—a good thing) have grown steadily. And then, I also started blogging in June of 2005 and, after about a year, was writing regularly here on Autism Vox.
Am I, as Schafly says, a “hard-working, well-organized C.E.O. type”? Certainly, I’ve some advantages with my job as I set my own teaching schedule and can take some work home, plus my college has always been very understanding about Charlie. Jim has been constantly involved, putting Charlie on the bus, coming home early for bike rides, taking Charlie on adventures on the bikes and in the black car on the weekends. I’m not as organized, though, as I could wish; once upon a time writing things in a notebook seemed to work but then I have to remember to check the notebook…. As for being a “C.E.O. type”: I like doing academic administrative work—helping students figure out how they can double-major in Economics and Mathematics and minor in History and keeping my eyes open to academic politicking, such as it is—-but am not for being an executive type.
Sarah Palin is just a few years older than me—-I’ll be 40 in a few months. As a special needs mom, I very often feel that all eyes are watching Charlie and me, and judging, and I tend to often (I suspect) convey an air of “I can handle it all, just watch.” In practice this is not true. Sure I can carry the bags and make sure Charlie carries his share and walk him out to the parking lot; sure I can teach several courses and teach Charlie cello and piano (until we get new teachers!). One thing I’ve been reminding myself (especially after a very hectic summer) is that it’s not possible to do it all. You can want to, but something has to give, and the many hours Charlie and I have spent together in playgrounds, the aisles of Target, doctors’ waiting rooms, and the pool have resulted in us having a solid relationship. We’re friends and of course he relies on me; more and more, I’m relying on Charlie.
So I’ll be watching Sarah Palin’s story unfold with extra interest. It’s about (as another mother recently blogged) letting go. It’s not necessarily about having it all. Indeed bieing a mother, a working mother, a special needs mother, has taught me that there’s different ways of “having it all,” of working, and of mothering, too.
I don’t envy Governor Palin, or the Palin family with all eyes upon them–when personal choices and personal circumstances become public fodder. If I had to parent Eleanor with the scrutiny of the press and public to contend with…I don’t know.
My concerns are
*Do her various public stances on positions relevant to public policy align with what I would like to see the Federal Executive take?
*Does she have the talent and the level of political and executive experience comeasurate with those required by the V-P of the United States?
*Do I forsee her being able to be an able President and Commander-In-Chief, if that became a necessity in unforseen circumstances?
It’s hard to tell what direction this will all take, but as usual–time will tell.
Ug, did anyone question whether JFK could “do it all” when he took office with young children? Of course not. The focus on the children was how cute and charming they were.
Of course, here we’re talking about an infant with special needs. But I can’t help but wonder what the narrative would be if Palin didn’t have a uterus. (And while we’re on that topic, I’ve learned way too much about her uterus in the liberal blogosphere – is nothing sacred???)
I agree with the poster before me – let’s put aside the scandal and focus on the issues. As some one who cast my primary vote for Clinton (and don’t call me a feline acronym), I find the focus on identity politics to be insulting. I didn’t vote for Clinton because she has ovaries. I voted for her based on her positions on the issues.
As I’m reviewing my comment, I realize that I’m reacting to this story as a voter and not as an autism mama. I do have sympathy for her plight. But public service is about putting the public’s interest before personal interest, and that’s a choice she’s made. I’m not reacting primarily on a sympathetic level, because I don’t work in public service.
Focusing on issues: Sarah Palin is ultra-right wing, so she’s out of the question for me.
Focusing on credentials and capability: I find her sorely lacking. Even in the Republican Party there are many other women who are brighter and more prepared for the vice-president chair. Hey, less than two months ago in a TV interview Palin asked the reporter to tell her “what a vice-president does every day, because I don’t know”.
Focusing on her character and parenting skills: the fact that she preaches “abstinence only” education and her own teenage ends up pregnant at 17, and then the poor girl is pressured to marry another teenager who claims to be a “f’ ing redneck” who doesn’t want to have kids, wow, that doesn’t sound like model parenting to me, it sounds like a trainwreck.
Laura,
Excellent points. Identity politics was the term I was searching for.
You don’t need to be pro-choice : be pro-smart… and use condoms !
Sarah Palin is responsible for her daughter’s pregnancy : schools should be giving sex-ed classes to teenagers.
Now Bristol is forced to go into an arranged marriage…
Poor kid
I’m with you on this one all the way. I’ve been interested in Ms. Palin since Trig was born to see how she handles it. She does have a very understanding husband who is willing to be a stay at home dad. Kids don’t HAVE to have the mom…dads are just as efficient. I have 4 kids, 2 with special needs, and work full time and I get it done. I believe it takes a village to raise a family and we have that.
“Focusing on her character and parenting skills: the fact that she preaches “abstinence only” education and her own teenage ends up pregnant at 17, and then the poor girl is pressured to marry another teenager who claims to be a “f’ ing redneck” who doesn’t want to have kids, wow, that doesn’t sound like model parenting to me, it sounds like a trainwreck.”
You must be perfect and listened to everything your parents said and learned everthing they taught to you, right?
And perhaps we should now be asking all candidates, male and female, if they can “do it all,” with their family obligations and private issues kept in mind?
Well, keep in mind that all vice presidents really have to do is (1) break tie votes in the Senate; and (2) take over if the president is incapacitated, I’m not convinced that someone with lots of kids, even with a special needs kid, couldn’t do at. After all, Dan Quayle did the job…
As for Governor Palin, it is not her family issues that will keep me from voting for her. It is her lack of experience and her bizarre politics.
Lack of experience is a huge issue on both sides.
Her politics alone, such as they are, does it for me, without getting into any of the women vs. women issues. That, and the fact that she’s got less experience than just about any other possible VP choice and that her selection strikes me as a cynical ploy targeting women. Why not Kay Bailey Hutchison, for God’s sake?
Should she have gone back to work on day 3 after her special needs child was born? That’s not my business. Should her teenager marry this boy/man and have this baby? Not my business. I can only say that if I were in her shoes, politics would be the last thing on my mind, and that would be the case regardless of the identity of my gonads.
People didn’t ask Kennedy about his children because the marital roles in his family and at that time were clear cut. Obviously, he had a wife. Obviously, she was doing the “wife thing,” leaving him able to do the “president thing.” Those of us who are women who work–and if you’re in academe, chugging down the tenure track, you know EXACTLY what I mean–do not have WIVES, especially that dear, quaint little construct known as the “faculty wife.” We can’t slave away in the lab until midnight knowing that someone’s at home, doing the duty, holding down the fort, cooking, cleaning, and getting the laundry done. Oh, and mothering the children. And that makes a difference in exactly how much we can accomplish career-wise balanced against what we can do and ought to do and do in good faith for our children and families. It’s not just a societal thing that women feel a pressure to mother when they are, in fact, mothers. That comes as much from within as without. The vast majority of us in that situation let career slide for the sake of family. That’s the reality of being a mother, of being a mother who makes an honest assessment of what’s best for her family and children and not just for her career. It just is, as much as anyone would like to think otherwise.
If anything it makes this election very interesting. I do tire of the endless talking about her family life.
However, having one child with special needs and barely being able to handle my life in that regard…well, it is very difficult for me to imagine how anyone could handle being VP with five children, the youngest special needs and now a grand child of a teenager on the way. Granted, most people I know don’t have the funds to hire help. I imagine she can hire a great deal of help for her children…affording her more time to work outside of the home.
Chuck, when I started my sex life as a teenager I was smart enough to use birth control and see an OB-GYN… The one thing I was worried about was NOT getting pregnant. Luckily I had sex ed in High School, and also Biology classes that taught me how the reproductive system works.
“Luckily” is true. “Smart” and “teenager” in the same sentence is debatable on many issues.
Eleanor: Bizarre politics? Her politics are traditional honest mainstream American politics. Are you channelling Lenin, or Gramsci, or somebody?
justthisguy,
Does mainstream values mean denying a woman’s right to an abortion after they have been raped? That’s what palin believes. How about banning books in the library? Is that part of mainstream values? How about rejecting science in favor of religious myths in public schools. Is that mainstream or extreme values?
I hope America wakens this election and rejects these mainstream values.
Mainstream means reading the Constitution and obeying its strictures. Abortion is not a Federal thing, but a State thing. Same with the books. Governor Palin really said that she would not forbid any discussion of origins of life in schools. M’self, I think “young-earth creationism” is totally batso, but intend to vote for Sarah and that old guy, McPain, or whatsisname.
It never fails to amaze me that so many auties vote for collectivist politicians, considering how many of us have been bullied by “socially appropriate” people. If the collectivists finally win, the first to go to the gas chambers will be the weird people who just don’t fit in
Chuck, all this talk about Palin’s daughter is a big distraction. Her stance on moral issues is awful in my point of view, but even if you agree with her you have to admit she’s underqualified for the job. Obama and Biden may not have “executive” experience but they have (times infinite) more culture, knowledge and judgement capabilities which are essential to do this job than Sarah Palin – she’s a lightweight.
Maybe, Leila, but they’re criminals, and she isn’t. No honest person can succeed in Chicago politics, and Biden’s dishonesty is printed in the Congressional Record. Biden is also on record as saying that Obama is not fit for the office of President. These are people who will say anything and do anything to get power over other people. They are much worse than thieves who steal only to enrich themselves, these people want to achieve total bullitude over their fellow citizens, and tax their victims to pay for it.
justthisguy,
Is that the basis of your thoughts, “cheap” slogans. I’d like to prove any assertion you made.
So I guess your in agreement that forced pregnancy by rape is not mainstream values?
Is banning books at libraries part of strict constitutional interpretation by your mainstream values? Is teaching religious myths in public classrooms in tune with your strict constitutional obedience?
Justthisguy, you gotta be kidding me. Are you watching too much Fox News or listening to Limbaugh lately? Who exactly do you think will care for our economic situation, the disadvantaged, the uninsured? NOT the republicans. If the last 8 years weren’t enough to convince you, I’m sorry.
Leila, I despise most Republicans.
The proudest boast I can make about my family is that all four of my great-grandfathers served honorably in the War, against the Republicans (AKA United States Army.) The latter-day Demonrats, however, are even worse.
I would describe myself as an old-fashioned, or Grover Cleveland-style Democrat.
I think that the government should not violate the Constitution.
Yes, I’ll take up arms, and use them, against anyone who disagrees with that sentiment.
Whoops! I spoke from a hot mind, above!
Please believe me when I say that I’ll not use violence against people just for dis-agreeing with me.
I do comply with all laws where I am, I am just a bit exercised about some of the leftist folks I meet on the internet, may they all suf(I’ve deleted the rest of what I was gonna say, out of respect for La Professora Frau Doktor)
I used to joke for years that I needed a “wife”.
When my son was diagnosed at 17 months, I didn’t know anything about autism. After diving in and learning about ABA, TEACCH, PECS, and many other acronyms, and trying to practice “part-time”, which was about 80 hours a week, and then having to take my son into the hospital at all hours while on call because we had no one who could/would help us when we were both on call, I knew one of us had to stop working. I was the logical choice. No one else could have provided the continuity between home and school like I could, and I learned all the methods to use at home, made all the PECS, did the OT and PT and ST.
There are only so many hours in the day. Depending on what type of job someone has, there may be more demands on them, leaving little time for family. I chose to invest my time in my son, and I don’t know if I will ever be able to go back to work. Some people don’t get to make a choice like this, they must work to put food on the table. I feel lucky one of us could stay home for our kids.
I certainly would never want to be in the public eye or in politics. I’m glad to hear that Mr. Palin is able to be at home for the children.
It sounds like you, Kristina, have found a good balance for you and your family. I am always amazed when someone comments on how organized I am, or how well I am handling everything. I feel like I am one of those juggling artists who have the spinning plates on the sticks, and I am just running around trying to keep all of them spinning so they won’t fall and break!
@Storkdok, thanks so much for saying that—-have not only learned to spin and juggle plates, but to glue together the pieces when one gets dropped and to not mind if there’s a few chips and even a crack that can’t be filled or two.
Someone said this talk is doing is taking the focus off the candidates for president. But perhaps people are finally talking about something besides what sitcom is popular.
It is a moot point who McCain picks as his running mate and I could never vote for the man. But will people forget he is the candidate and vote for him b/c he picked Palin?
Kristina, too true, we also have chipped and repaired plates! ;0)
aren’t you going to chime in on The Speech? I was impressed on several levels. Regarding special needs – her offer of advocacy was fiery and heartfelt. I’m a relative neophyte, but in my limited experience, it seems like thus far, special needs has been relegated to a talking point or an afterthought.
another laura,
I’ll be talking about it. Like the bridge to no where, what she says and what she does is polar opposite. I’ll give details on my blog.
CS, republicans are like mercury parents. They don’t care about facts and science. It’s all blind faith.
Another Laura,
I certainly don’t agree with all of her politics, but I gave her a standing O in my living room.
It remains to be seen which will speak more loudly, her actions or her words. I’m rooting for the former.
It was an inspired speech delivered well. I was feeling it myself until I remembered that it was written by a speechwriter and Governor Palin as a sportsnews person at one point in her life, and as a Governor would have some experience in public speaking. Some of the factual information is being examined today.
A good speech lasts a day. An administration somewhat longer. So, it’s back to seeing what’s on the public record.
Ok, there is one thing that has been bothering me as a PARENT, not a mother. She knew her daughter was pregnant. If she’s as intelligent as she certainly appears, she knew the media would jump on it in a huge way and her daughter would pay an emotional price.
She choose to allow this to happen and accept the nomination anyway. She choose to put her daughter on the national spotlight right next to Jamie Lynn Spears.
I think only stage mothers and politicians would ever do such a thing.
From http://mudflats.wordpress.com/2008/09/03/destination-alaska-theyre-heee-eere/#comments
————
Let’s face it, it’s not as we actually have the best candidates out there, regardless of party affiliations. Frankly, since I don’t belong to any party (but come November I will vote), I’m finding it very hard to make a decision.
It bothers me that people coment of Sarah Palin ’she’s a mother of five children, one with special needs, how is she ever going to do it?!’ If it was a male candidate, would people be making expressing the same concerns? Would his family life matter that much and take center stage just as it has happened to Palin since she was nominated last week? Of course not.
All I see is politicians avoiding the real issues at hand, in all aspects, and concentrating too much on personal attacks against their opponents.
A lot of talk about fixing the economy, ending the war, but no one is really saying HOW they’re going to achieve those campaign promises. Talk is cheap and there is no plan.
Frankly I’m worried about what is going to happen in the US, regardles of who wins the elections.
And don’t get me started on the ambiguity of both parties regarding services for special needs children, adults and their families. We’re not at the top of their priorities, plain and simple.
BUT:
The cut was a vestige of her predecessor’s budget.
AND:
From the publication Education Week:
http://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2008/04/30/35recaps.h27.html
“Gov. Sarah Palin and state lawmakers have gone ahead with an overhaul of Alaska’s school funding system that supporters predict will provide much-needed financial help to rural schools and those serving students with disabilities.
The plan, enacted in the recently concluded session of the legislature, is based on recommendations issued by a legislative task force last year. It will phase in a greater flow of money to districts outside of Anchorage, Alaska’s largest city, over the next five years.
Advocates for rural and remote schools have lobbied for years for more funding, in particular noting the higher fuel, transportation, and other costs associated with providing education in communities scattered across the vast state.
A second part of the measure raises spending for students with special needs to $73,840 in fiscal 2011, from the current $26,900 per student in fiscal 2008, according to the Alaska Department of Education and Early Development (emphasis added).”
“BUT:
The cut was a vestige of her predecessor’s budget.” Did the needs disappear when Gov. Palin cut the budget? Not sure what point your trying to make. Did she cut it? Yes, did she continue with the cuts? Yes.
Edweek by the way is a right-wing, Lynne Chaney associated publication frequently sited by conservative politicians. The link they gave in the report is broken so I couldn’t verify what they reported.
This also from Edweek:
“Unlike many other states, Alaska has relatively flush budget coffers, thanks to a rise in oil and gas revenues. Funding for schools will remain fairly level next year, however. Overall per-pupil funding across the state will rise by $100, to $5,480, in fiscal 2009. Total K-12 funding will rise to $1.2 billion from $1.1 billion, when transportation, energy, and other state funds are included, according to estimates from the governor’s Office of Management and Budget.”
Wow, each child gets a $100. That’s below the inflation rate so in effect, each child got less as a percent of inflation than the year before, and during a time of “flush budget coffers”. I wonder what they would have gotten when times weren’t so flush with oil money?
Read this on one of the Yahoo! Groups I frequent, but have admittedly not verified it:
A commenter accused Sarah of reducing the special education budget by 62%. That is false. The special education budget actually increased by nearly 12%, as explained below.
As commenter correctly notes, the Alaska 2007 budget for special education was $8,265,300. But that included $5,352,000 for the Alaska Challenge Youth Academy.
In the 2009 budgetary document to which commenter links, astute observers will note that there is no mention of the Alaska Challenge Youth Academy. Instead, you have to look elsewhere. And guess what: There is now a specific document providing $6,082,100 for the Alaska Challenge Youth Academy. http://www.gov.state.ak.us/omb/09_omb/budget/EED/comp2837.pdf So combined with the $3,156,000, the total is $9,238,100. A nearly 12% INCREASE, not a 62% decrease
So a question would be, why is the Alaska Challenge Youth Academy not included under the special ed budget numbers?
State of Alaska FY2009 Governor’s Operating Budget
Department of Education and Early Development
Alaska Challenge Youth Academy
Component Budget Summary
The Alaska Challenge Youth Academy (ACYA) is more specifically a boot camp for troubled teens, and is as noted, a separate line item.
“This instructional program is operated in Anchorage with student enrollees from across the state. Students work on challenging academic programs in a “boot camp” environment. Completing high school and building career goal and skills are the goals. AS 14.30.740.” Funding levels and increases are mandated in statute.
If I was analyzing Special Ed, Intensive Services, or home-care budgets, I would discard the ACYA.
Just FYI, pp 99-102, Legislative Fiscal Analyst’s Overview of the Governor’s FY09 Request
Department of Education & Early Development, from
The Fiscal Year 2009 Budget: Legislative Fiscal Analyst’s Overview of the Governor’s Request
Legislative Finance Division, State of Alaska
One thing that might be borne in mind, and has already been noted, is the relative level of tax-available income of a state vs. expenditures, and whether it is operating in a deficit, as is the Federal Government at this time.
If you surf the State of Alaska website, there’s graph of per-student education expenditures, 2007-2009, is relatively flat; there was a substantial jump when Governor Palin took office and then has remained at a relatively stable level.
The comment’s in moderation so I’ll just post this part–
The Alaska Challenge Youth Academy (ACYA) is more specifically a boot camp for troubled teens, and is as noted, a separate line item.
“This instructional program is operated in Anchorage with student enrollees from across the state. Students work on challenging academic programs in a “boot camp” environment. Completing high school and building career goal and skills are the goals. AS 14.30.740.” Funding levels and increases are mandated in statute.
If I was analyzing Special Ed, Intensive Services, or home-care budgets, I would discard the ACYA.
I see a slight funding decrease from 2007 levels in 08 and flat in 09 if ACYA is removed. ACYA gets twice the funding of Special Education.
Ok, so what did she do for Special Ed? Nothing?