Spending Holidays With Your In-Laws

I remember the first Thanksgiving when my sister decided to spend the holiday weekend with her serious boyfriend’s family instead of coming home.  It also happened to be the Thanksgiving when my brother decided to spend the holiday travelling with his girlfriend instead of coming home.  I spent the holiday with my parents and other close relatives, but I knew that it was a big deal that we had all reached the age where we might not all spend every holiday together anymore.

Missing holidays with your family to be with your significant other’s family is a pretty big deal.  Not only do you have the pressure of acting appropriately and making a good impression while sharing a special day with these new in-laws, but you also have the stress of realizing that the family that you are not going to see is going to miss your presence.

Spending the Holiday With Your In-Laws

Whether you’re married or seriously dating, spending a holiday with your in-laws is important.  It could be extremely stressful if this is the first time because you want to fit in and not upset any of their special traditions, but you must remember that this is still the holidays and you need to enjoy yourself and relax.  Holidays are for celebrating!  Find the balance between being yourself and fitting in.  Express your personality and let them know about you, but also be sensitive to their traditions and expectations.  This is their house and their family, so you want to show respect without completely losing who you are.

Spending the Holiday Away From Your Family

Your family might give you a lot of negativity for choosing to spend time with your in-laws instead of with them.  If you are feeling guilty, remember that they are only upset because they love you and miss your presence during this special time.  It’s very important to share time between families when you are married, so make sure to keep track of what holidays were spent where so you don’t cause fear of favoritism.  If you aren’t able to be with your family for a holiday, make sure to still show them that you care and that you are thinking of them with a phonecall or a thoughtful gift.  Again it’s important to find the balance between appeasing their (selfish) desires and making a decision that is right for you and your partner.

The holidays can be a difficult time where you can be pulled in many directions.  Remember to communicate openly with the people in your life and make decisions that are balanced and well thought out.  Enjoy the time with the people you are with and take time to appreciate those who are far away.

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