Spicing Up Marriage Is Big Business in 2009

I just got finished reading an article on Jennifer and John O’Connel, a couple who have decided to start a business that helps couple put the sizzle back in their marriages. This Boston couple has come up with a monthly goodie bag that comes to you via the mail. Each kit is themed for that month and has items to help you add a little fun and adventure to your relationship.

You can read more about that here.

I think it is a great idea. Most marriages are just not what they could be or even should be. For some reason, some where in the quest to grow up and be responsible we forget that we adults were given permission to have play-dates, too.

Can you imagine your kids if all they were allowed to do was go to school, do homework and do chores? That would, in most minds, be considered abusive. Yet how many adults do the very same thing? Blech.

What is holding you back from making 2009 your best marriage year yet? The most common things that keep people stuck in ruts and unhealthy patterns are:

• Fear
• Anger
• Unforgiveness
• Laziness

You may be dealing with one or all of those things. Maybe this week, the transition between 2008 and 2009, is a good time to take a look at yourself, your relationship, and the changes that need to be made.

If you are in an unhealthy relationship can you identify the things you are doing to contribute to the unhealthiness of it? Co-dependency is not just about alcoholism and drug addiction. It is anytime a person allows another person to continue in an unhealthy pattern by covering for them, bailing them out, or denying their own needs so that things will not blow up. If that is you then you need to step out of it and take your life back.

If it is you just being too apathetic to make an effort then maybe it is time to figure out why you are doing that. Are you really apathetic or are you afraid to engage more deeply? There should be no fear of rejection in marriage yet for many couples it is a constant reality.

Most adults spend time learning their business. They study, read trade magazines, and talk to people who have been successful and yet, when it comes to marriage, relationship, and even parenting we feel like we shouldn’t have to work at it. How sad.

If so many entrepreneurs are getting into the marriage business then maybe we need to start asking ourselves why. And if we are not willing to put effort into relationship then we need to seek out the answers to that too, no matter how frightening they may be.

Is marriage all about sex? Nope. Marriage without intimacy on all levels is no longer a marriage. And I don’t believe that a couple can be intimate on all levels without sex. I still think God knew what He was doing when He told married people to not be celibate except for short times with mutual consent.

Make 2009 your best year ever, in every way. Resolve to do whatever it takes to change unhealthy patterns and create an adventurous, exciting, intimate, romantic, passionate relationship with your spouse.

And hey, a goodie bag can’t hurt.

Image: (c)marye audet