Stand up and Jump!

We went on a marriage retreat with a ropes course this weekend.

One of the challenges was to climb to the top of a telephone pole, stand on a platform at the top and then jump to a trapeze bar parallel to the pole, pretty far away. There’s a rope harness to keep you from falling to the ground.

I went first. I’m doing this. I can do anything. I am safe. I am brave. I’m going to jump. I’m doing this. I carried on an internal dialogue all the way up.

I wasn’t nervous till I got to the very top and it was time to stand up on the platform. You have to look down to place your feet properly. Then it’s pure fear.

I don’t want to do this anymore, I said out loud.

You’re right there, just stand up and jump, my husband, Jeremy shouted.

I stood up and realized how far that trapeze bar was. I was pure adrenaline.

Nothing is going to stop me. I have nothing to lose by failing. If I jump I succeed.

Then I jumped screaming and it was exhilarating.

Every single cell in my body was vibrating on this really alive-in-this-moment, yet surreal, frequency. I couldn’t stop laughing from my core.

Jeremy went up next and realized the bar was farther than it looked. He decided not to aim for the bar and just to jump. He jumped, but his heart wasn’t invested in reaching the trapeze.

That’s OK. It’s illustrative of our different approaches to issues that come up in our marriage.

I get emotionally invested and I’ll find a way to create a success out of it. “If I jump it’s success, as opposed to if I miss the trapeze I fail. Since it’s unlikely that I’ll be able to grab that pole there is nothing to lose by trying.” My motto is, “If I fail I fail, but at least I gave it a shot.”

Conversely, Jeremy felt the same futility in reaching the trapeze therefore, he was OK with simply jumping. He felt he still accomplished what he set out to do by climbing the pole and jumping.