Step Back, Stay Calm, Fight Fair

I know a couple of teens who have been going through some challenges this Summer. Some of these challenges have been huge and some of these challenges don’t seem as huge to me as they do to them. That makes sense, because I’m on the outside, still able to see the big picture.

When you are in a relationship, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture. You can get caught up in the drama, the emotion of a situation, and that’s when that tunnel-vision kicks in.

I used to be someone who was intent on getting to the bottom of something immediately. If there was a problem, I wanted to fix it then and there. This approach sometimes blew up in my face. 

I like to think that I’m better at waiting things out now, waiting until my partner and I are calm and better able to communicate. When it gets to the point that the parties involved are yelling or hanging up on each other, then it’s probably a good idea to take a step back. It’s not always easy to put the brakes on. In the end, if you are ever going to have a healthy relationship, one with good communication skills, then you have to learn how to “fight” fair. (I hate that term, but it really fits best in this situation).

I’ve talked to my teens, both of them, about taking a step back, about waiting until they feel calm again. I’m not sure they were listening then and I’m not sure they are listening now. I’m an adult, what do I know after all? I have faith in them, they’ll get it when they are ready.

Good luck kids!

Image credit: Michelle Smith