But, women should be SMART about it and not like a lamb led to its own slaughter.

You’ll want to take measures to protect yourself such as what Suze Orman recommends: http://www.blogfabulous.com/independence-day/

Staying politically involved in Mothers workplace issues by way of http://www.momsrising.org – in case you in the 50% divorce statistic, your husband dies or loses his job.

L.H. I love your faith. I know God will give you the means to set aside $50 a month to guard against whatever difficulties may come your way in the future.

I do understand that the “law” may not be on that the STAHM’s side. I also understand that, “naturally speaking” we(STAHM’s) put ourselves in a vulnerable situation when we leave the job market to stay home. Knowing all of that, I guess I should have stated that my thoughts and opinions are based on my faith in God though.

As I stated before, when I first quit my job, our family really went through some HARD financial times. However, we never lacked what we needed(food, shelter, clothes). We even had some things we wanted(vacations, new clothes, eating out etc).

I have needed extra grocery, gas etc money and told the Lord and no one else, and unexpected money come out of no where. Someone, who I barely speak to me contacted me once, when we were really going through and told me God put me on their heart, and wrote me a check for $200.00!

I have learned through it all that God is my source! Thank God for my husband and his job, but even if he got laid off and was out of work for a year( I beleive God would supply ALL my needs!) So, my faith is not in his job. But, that’s just my take based on my experiences and beliefs. I;m not forcing those ideas on anyone… I know we are all in different places with spritual things.

Thanks for talking about this on your blog, I think this is a great discussion to have! I think I may bring it up on my blog as well.

But, I most definately was not raised to work. Only “bad moms” worked where I come from. The pressure, for me, was to stay at home “because God said so.”

And while I’m very happy that your husband got a large raise (believe me I know how much happiness and relief that can bring a marriage) I still have to wonder if women, like myself too, are being foolish by putting our eggs in that basket with a 50% divorce rate.

You KNOW how difficult marriage can be. Isn’t it a little bit of denial to think the hard times are all behind you? Should you divorce, your husband will keep his high salary job and his lifestyle will continue to increase, but you will nose dive back into poverty. The law isn’t on the SAHMs side.

So, I have been a STAHM/WAHM since the fall of 2005. I have two girls under the age 3. Is staying home harder for me than going to work? Absolutley.

Cleaning, crying, diapers, sweeping, mopping, whining, errands, disciplining, etc….IS more emotionally and physically draining than putting on my cute outfit, some heels, grabbing some starbucks, and sitting at my computer or meetings all day. But, really…is not part of the stats that say women “prosper” living the working life a result of the way society “rewards” us for doing it?

I’m sorry, but there is a big difference in the energy I am able to put into my children, husband, and home when I don’t have to go to an outside job, then when I am gone from 8am-6pm or longer.

Furthermore, I don’t want anyone else raising my children and ENJOYING my children, the way I should be. Life is TOO SHORT! I’d rather spilt a ham sandwich for dinner, with harmony in my marriage and knowing my children have the BEST care, than have steak and my children getting “my left over” time at the end of the day!

You know what our problem is? Its that when we part of a generation of girls who grew up in a society that is painted a picture of “Ms. Savvy Working Mom” who is educated, sexy, powerful, and fulfilles v.s. “Ms. Frumpy Housewife Mom” who is uneducated, boring, fat, and depressed. Why would it not be more stressful for us to choose the latter? I believe we as women, have these stereotypes ingrained in our minds and hearts.

Therefore, we work our entire lives to become Ms. Savvy Working Mom only to find out, after we have kids, that Ms. Savvy Working mom doesn’t actually “have it all together.”

So, then we quit our job(and struggle financially because we DIDN’T LIVE OFF ONE INCOME FROM THE START!!). That’s why we have EXTRA bills, debt, etc.

Then, once we’re home we are fighting constantly the stigma of Ms. Frumpy Housewife. But, since we have only been train and bread to work, we don’t even know how or why we are trying to be home with our children. Society doesn’t value it. We don’t know what to tell people when they ask us what they do. We sit up and envy our lawyer friends and lose sight of our purpose for being home. We don’t know how to balance. We have little support. Evetually, we give up and give into the stereotypes. Our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health deteriorates. This is what we were told that Ms. Frumpy Housewife was(with her Bon Bon eating self). So, we fall into the self-fufilling prophecy. We feel depressed because we buy into the lie that what we’re doing is a worthless waste of time and we’re “losing ourselves” in the process. NO…we’re just beggining to find out who we really are!!

There IS no greater calling than to be a mother! God created us for this. Our children need US, not a nanny. God put something in us for our children, that the nanny can’t give, no matter how hard she tries. If we’re not there to give it…our children are going to have to spend extra time getting rid of baggage and trying get what we were supposse to give some other kind of way.

Here’s what they don’t want us to know: we can be healthy, relaxed, educated, fufilled, calm, happy, strong, fit stay at home moms! God is our help, with Him, nothing is impossible!

My goal is not to lay a guilt trip. It was HARD for me to stay home once I quit my job. I spent a long time on the fence! We STRUGGLED financially! I didn’t know how, when, or if we were coming out of that. Yes, that was stressful. But, my husband and I had to decide that we we’re going to let money tear us apart! We were in this thing together(for better or worse, richer or poorer!) This was just the worse and the poorer season.

We prayed! People offered me jobs making more than enough to bring us out. I turned them down, because I wanted to stay in God’s will for me. But, don’t you know God saw us through that time! Our family had clothes, shoes, food, etc. We went on two all expense paid vacations during that time!

AND…after I stopped fighting staying home…God blessed my husband with a new job…and his income has nearly doubled!

Find out the true source of anxiety – your self is telling you something. Listen. When you figure it out – deal with it – then the GAD will go away.