Stress Free Holidays

Whenever September rolls around again, I begin thinking about the holidays.  Specifically, Christmas.  The reason I do it is not to stress myself out more, but to make the holidays a fun and relaxing time.

It wasn’t always this way with me.  Like many people I tried to be the “Christmas overachiever.”  I’d stress myself out in getting the perfect gift for everyone I knew, I’d have as many people over as I could, and I’d bake until my oven cried from overwork.  (Well, almost.)

As a result, Christmas was something I dreaded.  And that isn’t right, now is it?

A few years ago my hubby got laid off and I had a career change, and to put it bluntly we didn’t have much money.  It turned out to be a blessing in disguise, and helped me change the way I looked at things.  From then on, I do the holidays differently.  See if one of these strategies might help you out as well.

1.) Limit the people you buy for.

Once upon a time, I bought presents for everyone I worked with in addition to every one of my friends and family.  Now, we only exchange presents with a few people.  We’ve asked our friends and most of our family not to buy us gifts for the simple reason that we want to lighten their load.  We let people know their friendship and love is the best gift possible.  In some cases we write a heartfelt card to express our feelings.  And that’s it.

2.) Cut back on Christmas cards.

When I first got married, my husband was shocked at how many Christmas cards we’d send.  I’d keep a list of everyone that sent us a card, everyone that bought us a wedding present, everyone that we knew socially….. just everyone!   Then we’d both try and write some kind of personal message in each one.  The mailing costs and stress in “getting them out in time” was ridiculous.  My husband told me I was nuts.  I said to him, “What are we supposed to do?”  And he responded with a shrug and said “Don’t send any.  Who cares?”

Now, I send some cards.  Some.  I choose folks I don’t see regularly and send cards to them.  If I’m moved to send to one or two people I really care about I do that.  I don’t send them to everyone we know.  And you know what?  No one seems to complain.  If your friends are true they’ll understand you wanting to cut back on cards and might even be inspired to do it themselves. 

3.) Ask for shopping lists early.

People cringe when I tell them I’m usually done shopping by Thanksgiving.  They tell me that after Thanksgiving is when the sales really kick in and besides that, don’t I miss the hustle and bustle of hitting the stores? 

I don’t.  When Thanksgiving rolls out I’m happy that I’m done with Christmas shopping and can just relax and take the holiday at a more reasonable pace.  Early in September I ask the folks on my list to begin thinking about what they want for Christmas.  The first time I did this I got resistance.  So I urged them to just think about it and you know what?  By the end of September everyone has things they realize they want for Christmas.  By October 1st I usually have the list from everyone I need to buy for. 

And about those Christmas sales?  If there’s really something so incredibly cheap I can’t pass it up I still head to the store to get it.  But if you get your shopping done early, picking up one thing during the busy holiday hours isn’t a big deal.

4.) Limit the amount you spend.

Being frugal is something that comes naturally to me, but it wasn’t hard to get everyone I exchange gifts with on board as well.  I stressed to the folks that would buy me gifts to limit their spending.  Again, I told them their love and support mean more to me than gifts.  In some cases we’ve put dollar limits on what we spend, and in others we’ve chosen to make our gifts rather than buy them.  By telling the people in your life that you want them to spend less on you also allows you to spend less on them.

5.) Buy online.

I’m not someone that loves shopping anyways, so if I can find a gift online I do.  I love walking out to my door to see a gift arrive via mail, and then I reuse the boxes to wrap the presents in.  During the holidays many sites offer free shipping for purchases, which saves you money as well as time.

6.) Think of “gifts” in a different way.

My family is big on homemade presents, which I absolutely love.  In lieu of volume, we’ll make one special thing for each other.  But even if you’re not crafty, you can still offer your services as a gift.  Offer to wash someone’s car once a week for six months, or babysit for free, or run errands, grocery shop, etc.  Find the one thing your loved one doesn’t like doing and offer to take it off their hands.  They’ll appreciate it.

7.)  Say no to cookie exchanges and only bake if you really want to.

I love baking, but I used to try and make too many things at the holidays.  I’d bake something for the office, sign up for a cookie exchange, and then try and make things for my family.  It took the fun out of it. 

Now, I still bake, but I make smaller batches of everything.  Rather than trying to bake for family, I’ll have them over and simply send leftovers home along with a few baked goods.  Nothing crazy. 

8.) Focus on traditions.  If you don’t have any, start a new one!

Rather than making the holidays about things, we make it about traditions.  We watch Bridget Jones on Christmas day and play games for a low-stress holiday.  We write in a book every New Year about our hopes and thoughts for the upcoming year.  (And have fun reading everyone’s thoughts from the previous year.)  When we do bake, we’ll choose one recipe we make together as a family and enjoy the process of baking. 

9.) Remember the reason for the season.

Christmas isn’t about commercialism.  If you celebrate Christmas because you’re a Christian, focus on what the holiday really means to your faith.  Talk with your family about the true gift you’re given as a result of faith and let that inspire you for the rest of the year.

10.) Think about the moment right before you and nothing else.

This sounds like an easy thing to do, but every year I really have to focus on it.  Too often I can get caught up with “what I have to do next” and ignore the moment before me.  When I hear my hubby humming Christmas music as he puts up the tree or we sit down to Christmas dinner I now take a minute just to appreciate the beauty of smaller moments.  I love hearing my family laugh over silly things while opening presents or reminisce about a funny memory.  These small moments are my true gifts. 

These are some of the things that help me to have a stress-free holiday.  I hope they inspire you and more than that, I know you all have some great suggestions as well.  If you do, please share them.  Let’s keep our lives in balance during the next few holiday months.