Supernanny LIVE Blog: “Jackson Family”

Are you ready for TRIPLETS!

MEET THE FAMILY
Lisa
Terry
Ethan – 5
Will – 5
Isabella – and 5

Isabella and Ethan are fighting over, you guessed it, a stick. (Kid’s love the simple things.) Dad’s embarrassed… but at least he has no authority.

Dad escapes for an errand and leaves mom alone. Ethan is playing alone; Isabella attacks him, because she wants to play. Ethan hides in a room. Mom? She’s ignoring the situation. Isabella’s trying to pick the lock. (Mom absent-mindedly helps her straighten the coat hanger.) Oh dear!

Back from commercial, and the kids are playing outside. Mom trying to get them in with a variety of empty threats and insults. Kids watching TV, (Jo comments on the absence of a schedule.) and Ethan isn’t ready to stop when Mom says. Dad’s back from the errand, and rather than asking Lisa what’s up, he goes to console Ethan.

Jo’s asking about Dad’s work. He sees that there are problems with the relationships among his kids… but I don’t think he gets the fact the TIME is of the essence.

SIT DOWN WITH MOM & DAD
Jo’s analysis: No enthusiasm, no discipline.

Jo confronts mom and dad: They are ignoring a lot of things.

No routine. More than that, they want mom and dad to participate with them in their activities.

Now she’s onto Dad’s work schedule. he’s been choosing not to come back until Sunday when he could be back Saturday night.

Mom doesn’t like the confrontational tone, but hey: It needed to be said.

Tip #1
Does one parent work away from home a lot? Use whatever you have available to connect as often as you can. Phone. Mail. Email. Chat.

LESSONS FROM JO
Jo introduces “Naughty Stools.” Mom prepares lunch, but Isabella isn’t having any of it. One warning… and she’s off to the Naughty Stool. Now Will’s acting up… and He’s on the Naughty Stool. Isabella wants to negotiate; Jo tells Mom not to have any of it. Eventually the kids – and not Mom – give in.

Now, putting Terry and Isabella together with a bit of crafting. They’re making bead necklaces, but that’s beside the point. THEY’RE TALKING!!!

Now Jo wants to improve communication when Dad’s away. She’s set them up with a couple web cams. Now Dad has to head out for the week, but Will’s not taking it well. Jo’s coaching Dad: Be confident; work is a good thing, and you’ll be talking to them on the computer.

Now Jo’s taking them to school… Martial Arts School! Looking for a constructive outlet for all their energy. Will wants Mom, but she’s being tough and sending him back to class. Once she heads out to the hallway, Will’s with the program. Jo even breaks a board!

More activities: Jo has Mom and the kids gardening, with a focus on working together.

1. Start the activity
2. Delegate responsibilities to each child.
3. Step back and supervise.

The kids have a blast! Finally, the first video-chat: The technology works, and everyone loves it.

Jo heads out with a quick reminder and work of encouragement.

Tip #2
Mom and Dad, if you need to have words, have them… but watch what you say in front of the kids. They hear everything, and will learn by watching.

ON THEIR OWN
Mom starts things out right with a craft, paper airplanes and hats. Isabella takes a toy from her brother, and Mom gets a bit over-zealous with the Naughty Stool. Not bad, but it could be better. Dad’s home, and he’s ignoring Isabella.

TO THE TAPE
The craft: Great! The Naughty Stool: Needs work. Once the child is on the stool, ignore them. You don’t need the last word; the stool is the last word.

Talking with Dad about how he spends his time. He’s working thru it: “How do I manage one-on-one time with all three?” Carefully, but you must do it, even it you can only find 20 minutes.

ROUND TWO WITH JO
Jo has set Dad and Isabella up with a game to learn a bit more about each other. Jo’s gets out some envelopes with questions: “What’s your favorite animal?” “What’s your favorite color?” In each envelope are a variety of answers. One puts on a blindfold, and the other guides him or her to the right answer. The answers are stuck to poster board.

As a parting gift, Jo presents them with a personalized calendar, photos of the kids. On it, she encourages them to write down the activities they will do when Dad is in town. Build a sense of anticipation.

Mom & Dad have the tools. Will they continue to use them?

FOLLOW UP
Yes, they will use the tools! The kids behave. They have creative outlets. They talk instead of screaming and hitting. Mom and Dad play WITH the children.

Another Supernanny success!