Supernanny Recap: Silva Family (#212)

(This is an abbreviated recap, because I was folding laundry while watching. Let’s see how my memory goes.)

Tonight, Jo visited the Silva Family, a blended military family with seven girls aged 17 years through 6 months. Dad brought the two oldest, Mom the next two, and the last three have been added since the marriage.

Dad’s current military assignment has him on the road three weeks out of four, and it’s about to get worse. He’s being deployed to Iraq for 12-18 months. Mom is desperate to get a handle on things before she’s left on her own.

During Observation, Jo keys in on three things: Structure, Language, and Connection.

Structure
The house is chaos. There are clothes and food everywhere. There is no routine. There is no schedule, and mom understandably feels like she’s running in circles but never getting anywhere.

First thing Jo does is implement a schedule and some chores. Most of the children are old enough to handle some responsibility: basics like putting away their own clothes and toys. Jo makes it a game: Do the chores on Day #1 and time how long it takes. Then, see if the kids can do better tomorrow. A neater home and more structured day give Mom some confidence that she can do it.

Language
Well, Scottish Mums and Dads aren’t the only one’s with sharp tongues. The Silvas have passed their foul language onto even the two year old. Jo’s jaw about hits the floor when the three-year old quite calmly calls her some expletive.

Jo, uses a punishment chart… well, as close to punishment as I’ve really seen her get Naughty Step aside. Jo brings in a chart, and each child has ten mouths next to their name. Whenever a child says a bad word, they lose a mouth. If at the end of the week, a child still has all ten mouths, then they get a coupon for a special reward. For example, in the show the family were getting ready to visit Disney Land. The reward was a special souvenir or toy from the vacation.

Connection
This focused specifically on Dad and his 17 year old daughter. The two scarely had any relationship left, and Jo wanted to try and reconnect them before Dad left. Jo managed to sit them down in the same room so they could verbalize a few things that had been let unsaid for way too long. In addition to the general father-daughter stuff, there was a clear undercurrent of fear regarding Dad’s upcoming deployment that needed to be expressed, acknowledged, and responded to.

Final Thought
In so many episodes, the Dad’s are absentee, gone all week while Mom is home raising the kids. Normally, Jo rightly jumps all over Dad, telling them to come home and be present in their children’s lives. They don’t need more stuff and a bigger house, they need their Father.

Tonight, Jo didn’t mention it once, even though Dad is gone most of every month. She was clued in to the fact that military careers often aren’t the same as civilian ones, and in this case it wasn’t an issue of Dad choosing to be away all the time. His assignment was what it was, and for the most part he cannot change it. So, acknowledging that Jo turned her focus to making things work within the reality of military life.

Good for Jo (or whomever tipped her off)! Military life can be hard enough on families. I’m glad Supernanny didn’t pile on.