“Sure, he’d be happy to….”
April 8, 2008 by Kerri Aldrich
Filed under Relationships
Bald Man started coaching our middle child’s first soccer team tonight. He didn’t out and out volunteer to coach, but said “yes” after the soccer association called parents asking for help. I was actually the one who answered the phone, and was the parent initially asked, but was more than happy to pass the phone onto the parent who’s actually played the game for the last 27 years.
I usually know the situations for which I can volunteer Bald Man’s help. Soccer, always. Babysitting our friends’ kids while watching ours so that the other mom and I can get out for an hour or two? Almost always a yes. (One of the things I love most about him!) Planning a party? Ummm…..no way. Though I never give his complete commitment without asking him beforehand, I’m usually fairly confident in what he is willing (and able) to do, and what he is not. And though I’m still always a bit nervous when telling someone he’ll be there, I’m always glad when he’s like,”yeah, absolutely.”
So, I’m wondering if this is common with other relationships. Do you offer up your wife or hubby’s help knowing that they’re cool with it, or do you make only your own commitments? Or do you offer them up without asking, and it’s created problems in the marriage?
photo credit: Ctd 2005
Usually I ask even when I know the answer is yes. I guess I consider it polite? Every once in a while though, I will volunteer him for things, but usually it involves helping me. LOL!
In the beginning of our marriage my husband volunteered me regularly for things like dinner, or company coming to dinner – AT OUR HOUSE and not telling me until the last minute. When he saw that I was likely going to gauge his eyes out in his sleep if he continued this he adapted to volunteering me for these sorts of things and then ‘asking’ me at the last minute.. You know
him: “I thought you might want to have them for fish tonight”
me: “Did you tell them already?”
him (sheepishly): “Yes, but we don’t have to. We can call and cancel. It’s totally up to you.”
me: “How considerate – say goodbye to your sight”
Now he has evolved to NEVER making plans that involve me without my input. And I do the same for him.