Surviving Job Loss: Coping Techniques in Marriage

O.k..here is another sort of interactive post. Surviving job loss, have you had to do it?  What are/were your coping techniques?

With the economy shot a lot of people are losing their jobs.  If you have been used to two incomes what strategies do you have in place to deal with moving to one income?

When Marc lost his job we were lucky for a lot of reasons.  We have always lived on one income so have kept our expenses on the small side.  We don’t have a whole lot of bills, because, quite honestly, I am a cheap b—-. I despise spending money on anything as long as I have a bill hanging over my head.  I also have never been one to have just one income stream.  I like having several sources.  That way if one dries up there are others.

I have always felt that money saved was better than income because the money you save is not taxable.  So if I save 300.00 a month by not turning the air conditioner on in the summer time that is the equivalent of about 350.00 in income, or something like that…you get the idea.

Marc also has a nominal disability income from the VA, and he was able to get a part time job.

So, our quality of life has actually gotten better in some ways.  Not so much in others.  Suriviving job loss isn’t just a financial thing.  There are a lot of issues when one spouse loses a job, not just financial. There are emotional issues, financial issues, and even scheduling.

If you have moved to one income, how have you coped?  Let’s help each other come up with strategies to get through this thing.  I am great with the budget aspect of it, and I promise I can tell you how to live more cheaply than you ever thought you could…but dealing with the change?

On a forum that I used ot spend alot of time on there was a saying (Terry did you coin this?), Semper Gumby, Always Flexible.

That is not me.  I like routine.  I like things to be the same day after day after day, schedule-wise, but I hate being in a rut.  For my own sense of security I like to know what to expect.  And I hate my schedule being jacked with.

With Marc home there is no schedule.  His part time job is all oer the place with the hours.  Chores do not get done on the schedule that I used for over 20 years.  Dinner is different.  Sometimes I feel like I am going to totally lose it.  I want to somehow step away from time and have a period to catch my breath, to think things through, and to make the choices and decisions I need to make but nothing and no one will stop long enough for me to do that.

Because of all the insecurity the kids are acting out (mildly). I don’t know how to deal with that because I haven’t had time to think about it.

In  a perfect world Marc would take over the things I used to do.

This is not a perfect world.

So, while I can do what it takes to keep us afloat financially I am definitely losing ground keeping our family together in a healthy, cohesive manner.  I need to take a vacation for about a week by myself.  It would take me three days for my shoulders to unknot…two days before I could begin to think clearly, and then two days to figure everything out and make a “plan”.

If you are old enough to remember the Dick Van Dyke show, do you remember the one where he goes to a friend’s hunting cabin to write?  I think that would be me.  As I recall he ends up playing with one of those paddle things with the ball on elastic.

Anyway, what coping strategies have you used to keep your relationship strong, your budget working, and your kids out of jail? Inquiring minds want to know. : )

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