Teach Teens to Handle Rejection
Sticking with the American Idol theme, you’ve just walked in and sang your heart out for Randy, Simon, Paula and the new judge Kara. All you get back are blank stares from the judges followed by a remark about how it sounded like a cow in distress from Simon. What do you do? Do you burst in tears? Curse out the judges? Tell them none of them can sing either and Paula is all washed up? Stomp off? That’s what a lot of the contestants do.
How can we teach our kids to not act like spoiled brats when they don’t get their way? How can we teach them to handle rejection with grace? Start when their young.
- Listen. Actively listen. Don’t try to think of the next comforting thing to say while your teen is talking. Instead give him your full attention and actually listen to what he’s saying. Acknowledge his point of view. Let him know it’s ok to feel that way. Say, “It’s ok to be mad (or sad or both).” Don’t minimize his feelings and don’t criticize him. Now is not the time to say, “Get over it” or “Stop being such a cry baby.”
- Show that you love and support her. Give her a hug. Pat her on the back. Smooth her hair. Offer to take her to Starbucks. Take her to a good comedic movie so you can laugh together. Tell her you’ll help her find a vocal coach. Make sure she knows you are there for her.
- Remain calm. Be a role model. Do not start ranting and raving at the judges yourself. Do not curse at or criticize the judges.
- Teach your teen how to stay calm. Try breathing exercises. Encourage him to write about his experiences in a diary or blog. Learn the art of the fake smile. Tell him to go for a walk or run to work out his aggression. There are tons of things we can all do to help us stay calm in difficult situations.
- Tell her stories about when you were rejected. Relay stories from your youth and stories from today. That way she realizes rejection is a part of life from young to old. Tell her about how you felt and how you dealt with the rejection. Remind her you dusted yourself off and tried again.
Rejection happens to everybody. Whether it is from judges on a reality TV show, a teacher, a love interest, a job, a friend, or anything. Teens need to learn how to handle rejection without falling apart.
