Teenage Relationships
Teenage relationships are so confusing. Were they this complicated when I was a teenager? Or do teenagers just thrive on making things difficult?
A few weeks ago the 16-year-old went to a girl’s volley ball game to watch his “sorta girlfriend” play.
“Sorta girlfriend?” I asked.
“Yeah, we’re kind of going out, but not really,” he said.
Um, ok. Whatever that means.
Then the other day we were in the car and he was talking to the 14-year-old about some freshman that has a crush on him.
“I thought you already have a girlfriend?” I questioned.
“Who? Jessica?”
“Yeah. Isn’t she your girlfriend?”
“No. We just hang out. And talk on the phone. All the things you do with a girlfriend, but we aren’t dating. I’m waiting until I get a job and a car before I ask her out,” he said.
So talking on the phone every night, going to her volleyball games, hanging out at school, and going ice skating together is not “going out.” It’s not officially a relationship unless you have a car. Good to know.
Adult relationships aren’t anymore straight forward. You think dating at 16 is a complicated mess? Try figuring out dating in your 30s.
At least at 16, there are rules. I wasn’t the best at following rules, of course, but I knew there were rules. It isn’t always necessary to color inside the lines but the lines did help you to see the big picture.
At 30, there are no rules, no lines, no curfews and no holes are you aren’t allowed to use. (You know what I mean, girls: turn 30 and everything is suddenly on the table.)
Even married to someone who was Needlessly Cruel and Unfeeling, there were rules. I wasn’t happy but I knew the boundaries inside which I was unhappy.
Now the unhappy is boundless.
What I wouldn’t give today for a ’sorta boyfriend’ and a volleyball game to attend…. {sigh}
—Isis