The Adolescence Factor
September 27, 2008 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
Just extremely really tired.
A phrase like this has often come to mind about Charlie in the past few weeks and it’s been used on and off by Charlie’s teacher in her emails home. Thursday he was groggy all day. When he comes home from school he walks straight to the refrigerator, eats a plentiful snack, and then just curls up on his couch chair with some fleece blankets and all but falls asleep. He’s been accommodating himself really well to having to get up much earlier to get on the bus by 7.30am and sometimes earlier. I’ve been trying to get him to go to bed earlier, but 9.30 is pretty much the earliest that Charlie seems able to go to sleep (and maybe I’ve still some very strong memories of when Charlie used to fall asleep at midnight regularly—-9.30 still seems early!).
Charlie’s teacher suggested that he might be in the midst of a growth spurt and just really, physically tired. This sounds very plausible and just today Jim noted that he realized that the day when he sees eye to eye with Charlie may be here sooner rather than later. (Charlie started to look eye to eye with me about three years ago.) Rushing to grab a pair of socks for Charlie as he pulled on his clothes, I found myself digging through his sock box to find a pair that would fit. Am I some negligent mom, or did it seem that almost every pair of socks looked like it might have fit Charlie about two years ago? Fortunately, my mom had sent a couple of pairs of new socks the day before and I slipped an extra pair into the front pocket of Charlie’s bookbag, as it was raining heavily this morning.
Charlie knows now to avoid puddles and this is yet another sign of how he’s growing up, understanding more, and thinking about consequences (if I step in all those puddles, I will have wet shoes and feet for the rest of the day). We’ve also noticed frequent mercurial mood changes in Charlie, who’ll be at ease and smiling one moment and then howling in high-pitched anxiety and distress for a half-hour a moment later. Such sudden mood shifts have occurred on and off throughout Charlie’s life, but they seem to be occurring (much) more frequently of late and, more and more, Jim and I have been saying—when we’ve run through list of other explanations (changes in the weather and the barometric pressure, a portending stomach ache, being tired, someone leaving, not getting a bottle of ketchup at the grocery store……), we’ve been saying, Puberty.
And recalling the not fun-ness of our own adolescences—a word which brings to mind the beige and brown buildings of my junior high in Oakland, California—I feel hardly surprised that Charlie is on and off and often out of sorts and on the edge. I could try to talk about what bothering me; Charlie’s spoken vocabulary does not include such expressions.
And so “the adolescence factor” seems to have become the new reigning phrase in our household to explain tense, tough moments. When I see my gangly-limbed boy (crossing one leg over the other) or Jim gets out the electric shaver, surely those internal, major changes inside of him must be struggling to be expressed, described, just noted?
When Charlie was a toddler, thinking about adolescence just seemed inconceivable. But it’s here for him and for us as his parents and often I feel we’ve begun a new dance, have to get in step and figure out the new steps and rhythms and figure out where he’s leading us. “It’s adolescence”: I suspect I’ll be referring to this for some time now and when I’m done, I suppose I’ll find myself in the teenage-hood.
I am going through the same kind of “changes” with my son. I, too, look up to him–literally, a result of a growth spurt or two within the last 6 months…and the eating; he is putting away so much food right now I just have to laugh. Mood changes, shaving…I’m still wondering how I got here. But won’t call him a teenager or else his temper flares, he wants to stay a kid. A delicate subject, even though he is “acting” like a teenager and changing. Funny!
Growing for sure. Our pediatrician told us “it is called growing pains for a reason, it can be painful.” In middle school our boys slept like logs and ate like, well you know. Parents used to think pre-teens and teens were slothful and lazy but the fact is they are busy…growing!
Dr. Mom
Growing must be going on at this minute—-Saturday noon here, slept in, got up and went out to get breakfast, and now I have a sleeping boy. He really never naps during the week so this is his chance to catch up on sleep, big time.
*shiver*
Bubba has such anxiety trying to understand his feelings as it is… can’t imagine what it will be like going through puberty. The possibility of him taking daytime naps sounds appealing though…
I sure wish Matthew would sleep in on weekends or take naps. He is adjusting to the early wake up quite well and wants to continue thru weekends, but I will not get up before 7 AM on a Sat or Sun. M-F it is 5:45 AM.
Matt gets his med dose at 5 pm and is in bed between 7:15 and 7:30. What time is the last dose of Risperdal for Charlie, it is to help sleep too, have you tried giving it earlier?
Nick is eating a lot and almost at my height of 5.7 1/2. He goes to bed some nights at 11 PM if a good show on at 10 PM. He has to wake up early because of Matt’s schedule and he starts schooling early too, which is good. He sometimes has leg pains and often wakes up at midnight for bathroom. He takes melatonin at 8 PM every night.
Watch that spine! I had a very intense growth spurt between 11 and 12…it happened so fast that no one caught the scoliosis that was taking place. A mild case, fortunately, but it was something that snuck up on me, due to the rapidity of the M-lengthening.
(on a side note: once they picked up on it and explained what was going on, I began to have nightmares that they would straighten me out with a giant rolling pin. “Squish. All better”.)
I agree about the Scoliosis testing. Nicholas had an x ray once and I did lot of researc just in case. At that time there was this Dr/Hospital show on Lifetime sunday nites. The wife from home improvement was on last two seasons. Her characters daughter had to wear the back brace.
Thanks for noting that about Scoliosis—-Charlie tends to hunch forward when he’s walking. The nap thing has been unexpected and frankly very pleasant for all parties—-and Charlie’s still been able to go to sleep at night, whereas in the past a nap in the day meant that he wouldn’t be sleeping till 1am.
I’m sure we will be hitting that soon, I do not look forward to it. I have noticed Andy being much more sensitive these days.
He is another one who needs less sleep that I. I relish the thought of him sleeping in.
It’s strange to think how Charlie’s grown up enough to be in puberty — you will have shaving ahead of you, and appropriate vs inappropriate looks (among other things).
Puberty is hard because you’ve got a new set of rules that you have to explain and enforce, and he won’t feel like he’s done anything wrong. Scott never did anything horrible, but he’s 25 now and STILL gets a big grin on his face when he notices one of my girl friends is…well endowed.
And let’s not even talk about the fact that I slept on the bottom bunk. It took me three years (I’m four years younger) to figure THAT out. Luckily, a woman I work with went through the same thing with her brother. I tell her it’s warped us!!!!
p.s., I went to Jr High in San Bruno (Parkside Intermediate; then a year at Capuchino High School). I miss the old school buildings — open open open, not enclosed and boxed as it is here in Dallas.