The Budget

Really, I promise that I didn’t set up Marriage-101’s comment disagreeing about the Joint Account. It’s just one of those serendipities that segue nicely into my next topic on Marriage & Money: The Budget

Yes, the budget. A four-letter word for most of us if ever there were one. To frame my thoughts, I want to share 101’s prior comment:

I disagree, simply because I know myself, and I know how I can get about money when we’re budgeting and if I see that my husband spent $8 eating out when he could’ve just made a PB sandwich and taken some chips, I will bitch. And that’s no way to live in a marriage. Neither is asking for permission on what to buy or how to spend it.

First things first: I agree completely with 101 in her assessment of the problem. In our house I keep the books, which means I know only too well how much debt remains and how much cash remains and all that. There have been many conflicts in our house over spending habits. (Full Disclosure: The conflict flows both ways; though I keep the books, I have an impulsive streak and have driven Kerri crazy from time to time with my inconsistency.)

Where I break ranks is in the solution. The solution is not to separate yourself from your spouse in this essential area of life. The solution is to come together, and the Budget is how you and your spouse come together.

Think about the arguments you and your spouse have had. I’m willing to bet that the root of most of them is conflicting expectations. You thought one thing was happening and she though another was. You expected A, and she was planning on B. Cash is tight and she expected you to make a PB&J; you thought everything was fine and went to BW-3’s with the gang… just a hypothetical, you know. So, you can minimize arguments by getting on the same page.

Enter the Budget.

A Budget is a plan… that’s all. It is a chance for the two of you to sit down and make conscious choices about how the two of your will spend your money. For some a budget is essential: money is just too tight to not plan every penny. For most a budget is somewhere between very important and very wise.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that making a budget is one thing while implementing and following the budget is something altogether different. When Kerri and I get that one figured out I’ll be sure to let you know.

Nevertheless, the budget is freeing. No longer is one spouse put in the position of asking permission from the other to buy something. (And conversely one spouse isn’t put in the position of doling out permission to the other.) Instead you have in advance given each other freedom to spend within mutually defined limits… and isn’t freedom nice?

I’ve rambled more than enough for this post, so I’ll save my practical Budgeting tips for next time. Let’s see if I can’t come up with 10 Tips for 10 Years.

images: wallet | President | pasta