The Cat and Mouse Chase

Quite a few books and magazines talk about the Cat and Mouse thing between women and men. Basically, all of the sources have concluded that “Play Hard To Get” is the way to go for girls.

Here is an excerpt from iVillage:

Q: Is it really true that a guy will like you better if you play hard to get? I kind of feel like if he really likes you, it won’t matter if you agree to a last-minute date or if you return his phone call right away. What do you think?

A: It all depends on just how much a dude likes you. If he’s smitten, you can do whatever you damn well please - ask him on a date, dial his cell five minutes after you meet, jokingly suggest names for your first child - and he’ll still be into you. However, if the guy is more on the fence about his feelings, then those stupid dating games do make a difference.

Sure, guys run around groaning, “She’s such a tease” and “Why is she playing me?” but the truth is that if you wait a couple of days to call him back, that will definitely keep him intrigued. He’ll be trying to figure out whether or not you really like him and what he can possibly do to win you over. Who cares if he’s not sure you’re interested - that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? Although it might not necessarily make him like you better, it should ensure another date.

On the flip side, if you’re too aggressive, that can be a deal breaker. Remember, men like the chase! If he’s still undecided and you call to ask him out, it kills the cat-and-mouse thing and makes you look desperate. To be on the safe side, let him pursue you. Trust me, a guy is more likely to give up on a girl who’s too gung ho than on one who plays hard to get.

As much as I hate the idea, I must admit that it is true that the aggressive girls who are playing the reverse “Cat and Mouse chase” eventually lose ground. However, the problem is that in today’s society, men also recognize that women are becoming more and more independent and aggressive. So some of them actually expect the “mutual” chase and drop out of the game if the woman starts to play the old school hard-to-get.

One friend of mine normally asks a girl out first or asks the girl to call or email him if she wants to do something. If she doesn’t call back in a few days, he gives up on her. Another friend of mine actually expects the women to show interests first before he makes moves.

The rules are all changing and it makes the whole dating scene more confusing than ever. The answer lies in effective communications, whether through body languages, emails, phone calls or other creative methods. The key is to give each other enough hints that you are still interested so “come and get me”. Organizing group events is always a great way to go if you are not so sure. Spring season is coming, so start planning that group hiking trip and invite that hot guy you have been eyeing for a while!