Comments on: The Eyes Don’t Have It

By: Kristina Chew, PhD

Kristina Chew, PhD — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 03:35:10 +0000

Over on Science Blogs, Greg Laden has a more extensive review of Caldara's study and a link to the article in PLOS.

By: Learning All the Time (Whether You Know It Or Not)

Learning All the Time (Whether You Know It Or Not) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 07:28:43 +0000

[...] all that eye contact may be overrated, college students do need to learn to look up, look people in the eye, and speak clearly and [...]

By: Melody

Melody — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 19:44:12 +0000

When I was about 9, and walking home from school, my dad asked me why I wasn’t looking at him as he was talking to me. I said: “Don’t want to be rude.” I knew how eye contact was painful for me, so I figured it was probably painful/embarrassing for most people too, so it would be rude to subject others to such intrusion.

Also, when I look at people’s eyes, then I stop understanding what they’re saying, when I have difficulty with auditory processing even when looking away, eyes closed (but it really jumbles up when I’m looking at someone’s eyes). It’s also quite painful, so usually I’ll look to the wall just behind them, and remember to nod periodically.

By: Jen

Jen — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 04:09:08 +0000

I found out a few years ago that I had poor eye contact, when a child with autism, who obviously had done an eye contact program, grabbed my face and told me to look at him when we were talking to each other. When I had to teach an eye contact program, it was very odd for me. My tendencies are either to look around at everything if I am in an unfamiliar environment, or if there are changes. Otherwise, I turn my ear to the speaker, because my sinuses are often messed up, resulting in my ears feeling slightly blocked usually one moreso than the other. So, I turn the one less blocked to the speaker. This whole thing probably looks the most odd when I tell a student to calm down, slow down, and look at me, then proceed to turn so that they are no longer looking at my face, but at my ear.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 07:59:26 +0000

Robin — didn’t they do a later study where they showed that people with more receptive language problems did not have the same eyegaze behavior as people without them, at all?

By: Bonnie

Bonnie — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 01:31:02 +0000

I feel it’s so overrated and find that I can listen better myself if I don’t look one in the eye while they are talking to me. I become distracted, and if someone has a really intense stare, I even experience headache symptoms when trying to listen to them and make eye contact at the same time. I never demand it of Casey, because everyone else does, and oddly, I get it naturally more than anyone else!

By: Robin H. Morris

Robin H. Morris — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 01:25:43 +0000

My son was trained in the “look at me” Lovas discreet trial method. He learned, he looks, he responds. He is now 20, and sometimes reacts with a robot cadence to his speech. Life in general has honed his diction, but he still relaxes into an automaton lilt to his speech.
Years ago, I was a guest at a Yale medical school lecture, when they introduced the eye contact theory, demonstrating atypical people watching “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf”. Their eyes concentrated on the chins, shoulders and cheeks of Liz Taylor and Richard Burton, as they spewed vulgarities in loud repartee. The typical people looked at the eyes.
What does this mean to us? I actually do believe that we tend to case a person’s whole face, when speaking to them and that includes the eyes.
Kristina, my first sister-in-law is Asian. She never said thank you when given a gift. It was explained to me that it was a cultural thing and it reflected a loss of “face” to reveal personal feelings. Does that relate to the eye contact issue?
xR

By: Cliff

Cliff — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 00:55:44 +0000

My eye contact is pretty bad (if you will; I don’t value it personally at all, and it is very much standard to say that it is a “good/bad” standard, but I’ll use “bad” for purposes of maintaining social standard where I live), but I’m usually pretty open in that it is exclusively what I do and not meant to intend anything. That honesty usually goes a long-way.

Cliff

By: Danni

Danni — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 23:46:34 +0000

When talking to someone, I look in their general direction, and at their mouth if I need to lip-read to understand what they’re saying (if the environment is noisy or my brain is being noisy).

Luckily for me, most people take me looking at their mouths as being eye contact. I can make actual eye contact, but if I’m trying then I end up staring. I also am less able to understand what the person is saying, so it’s not good if I need to listen.

Yes, eye contact is overrated

By: Robin

Robin — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 22:45:51 +0000

I very much agree. How much to adults look eye to eye when talking. I think the goal should be to increase eye contact so that it is in the appropriate range of what others are doing. Teaching to look at objects that one is talking to, a general view of someone talking. I personally think it’s freaky when someones is completely starring at me when I’m talking to them. The typical ABA ‘look at me’ is great to start to teach focus, but it needs to generalized big time