The Fifth Step

“Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it?”

Don H. would tell us when he shared that “AA has changed. Used to be that you’d throw your problems out on the table in a meeting then you’d wait to hear the solution. Now, you throw your problems out on the table and then go out and have a cigarette. You don’t wait for the answer. I wouldn’t mind if you’d throw your problems out if you’d just tell me what you’re going to do about them!”

Lest you attempt to diminish Don – he died with 55 years sober and was a direct descendant of some of the first 100 members of AA – so, don’t. I had come to know and have a world of respect for him. He taught me a lot. I was not alone…

“We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path.”

It does not say “find a new woman,” for that bonehead who mentioned that was what he was here for. It says a new relationship with our Creator. I understand Creator as my God. You might perceive it somewhat differently. I no longer see a woman as my God! (If you’re a woman, you ought not see a man as your God!) I no longer worship booze either! (If you knew God before AA why did you worship booze instead?)

“We have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action… This brings us to the Fifth Step…”

“Coming to his senses, he is revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him… He is under constant fear and tension – that makes for more drinking.”

I know that someone observed me. Now that I’m thinking about it, it is, once again, something I regret deeply. I did incredible harm to a person I was telling I loved. Why did I do it? I found that out in my Fourth Step. The reason I did it will now be “cast out.” I haven’t done it again. It is no longer one of the endless excuses to drink.

There is a rule in the Fifth Step. Do you know what it is?