The Flip Side on Living without Sex…
December 11, 2008 by Marc Audet
Filed under Relationships
With the posts and comments on celibacy and the sexless marriage, let me ask this. I already said this to Marye. I love her, and can’t imagine life without her.
But what if I have absolutely no desire?
It is not that I don’t find her attractive. Mr. Happy won’t get happy. It has been more difficult. Again, it isn’t her. It isn’t any woman right now. I don’t know if it is the medicines I’m on or my middle-agedness or I’m out of my mind. It wasn’t this way in the past. And this is really rocking the boat at home as you might imagine.
Our sex life has always been driven more by Marye, as she has a higher drive than me. But now I don’t know what is going to happen. It really sucks! I’m pretty sure, before too long I’ll be in the MH clinic at the VA for this.
We have been through counseling about our sex life at the VA before and things were better for a while. Then I got sick.
Question , comment and insults?
*Note from Marye…there had better not be any insults.
image:morguefile
Try…
Try really hard…
Watch movies… get a new kink (with Marye)…
If NOTHING works…
Get some meds.. but check the side effects and see if it’s worth it to you.
Sounds like you know what you are looking at for it… it can’t hurt to try right?
Suzanne,
thanks for the comment.
Kid,
*Note from Marye…there had better not be any insults.
I don’t care about insults. I have them coming.
I care. And I don’t think anyone who reads this blog is so perfect that they can insult anyone. Except maybe me.
OK, You two. Leave off with the ‘everyone can insult ME’ stuff. Not a good thing to be in competition over.
As far as advice for Marc, perhaps you could try looking at sex somewhat more the way I look at shopping with Cathy. I go with her because SHE likes it. Now and then, I even have fun. But given the choice, I’d usually stay home.
So. Sex does not have to be PRIMARILY about the physical. You love Marye. Then so what if “Mr. Happy won’t get happy”? The goal is to make Mrs. Happy **!!EXTREMELY!!** happy. I think you can do that.
1) Accept that Marc has this problem. OK, it’s temporary, but it is also HERE TODAY.
http://www.marriageactually.com/2008/11/20/stalking-the-elusive-o-part-five/#more-964
Thanks Dhave,
The line, “Questions, comments or insults” is a closing expression I’ve used for years. It wasn’t anything serious from me.
Yes, we’ve got stuff to deal with and yes we will have a sex life. Some of this is combined with some previous issues there.
Have a good weekend !!
I know this fellow who’d the same thing going on between his mid – late 20’s till mid – late 30’s and then second puberty hits…how much difference?
His wife wasn’t supposed to be able to get pregnant ( benign fallopian cysts, other encumbrances ) but after his pituitary kicked itself in gear…it was off the charts after that. Several very successful pregnancies resulted.
You might want to get your pituitary checked. They can be odd buggers some times. If its that…you might wake up one day and find yourself insatiably ravenous for Marye and the reason for it will be as inexplicable as the reasons for the lack of it are now.
If its not that…sometimes seeing something through a different pair of eyes or perspective can open up things that you’d neglected or had not seen before, or at least for a long time. You can loose interest in that which seems to be safely at hand and not even realise it.
A differing perspective.
Thanks David,
I’ll ask my doc if he can or already checked that out when I see him in a couple weeks.