The Imperfect Need Not Apply
Among some of the negative feedback that I’ve received from last night’s episode of Supernanny, one of the most interesting was a comment that I was unfit to be giving out parenting advice. Apparently, if a person has to seek out help to ameliorate one’s parenting, it negates any knowledge that they may already have and then obtained from that source of help. I have a hard time understanding this theory.
If a doctor has to get some extra schooling to further his career or help hone his skills, should he be discredited for the knowledge that he does have? Does it mean that he is not capable of helping patients? I do not think that I am a clueless parent. Yes, we had issues that needed Jo’s guidance. I do not see how that makes me any less qualified to give my opinions on parenting. A lot of my posts include research and informative links. My writing helps to educate myself as well as the reader.
Yes, I am imperfect. My parenting is flawed at times. My imperfections are what drive me to educate myself, seek out solutions and then pass that information on to others. I’m sure that Dr. Spock had a few things that were less than perfect, yet he was revered as a great expert on the subject of child rearing. I’m no Spock, but I’m no Homer Simpson either! I have, however, had the occasional “Doooooough!” moment. But it doesn’t make me totally inept or unable to provide guidance based on the lessons that I’ve learned.
Kadi- great show and I’d just let the comments roll off. You know some will think they can do a better job then others, ignore them. I was wondering though, have you got time by yourself yet? I know this is normally very hard to do with little ones like you and I both have and as many.
I think it shows you are human, otherwise you would be SuperSuperMom.
Smile and have a nice day!
I agree with you – I watched the show. I thought it was pretty good. I actually thought you guys were made out to look pretty good. Especially having 7 kids. It’s hard for me to relate, having just the one child, and a super laid back child at that.
I think that we all need to talk to people, and hear different opinions, in order to become better parents. Because someone needs advice doesn’t make them an idiot, it makes them smart. It’s the super troubled parents who refuse to even seek help – that’s a much bigger problem than someone who is not afraid to ask.
Ignore those people who make lame comments. I absolutely disagree with some of the posts you’ve done here – our parenting styles are pretty much off the charts different. That said, I still come here a lot, mainly because at least the posts here always make me think and consider the other side. That’s a good thing.
Kadi, from what we saw last night, you are not a terrible, or unfit parent! My goodness some of these people would pick apart Mother Theresa! Even at your worst moments, which you were brave enough to let the whole world watch, it was still apparent that you and your husband are loving, caring, capable people who were doing the best you could. And I’m so happy you got the opportunity to have the Supernanny come to your house! OMG, I think EVERY family in the country could benefit from that – especially the ones run by some of these people that are convinced they’ve got it right.. In my opinion if they think you and Kate Gosselin are bad moms they need to get a grip on reality. The older I get the only thing I become more and more sure about is that I don’t know near as much as I thought I did! I’m a work in progress. And I’m very skeptical of the people who seem to be sooooo sure and soooo quick to judge.
And if you were perfect – I don’t think we would even want to watch, much less learn anything!
Kadi, perhaps it would help if you could explain what, other than the fact that you have popped out an inordinate number of children, makes you qualified to give parenting advice. Other than what will most likely be some very short lived changes that the nanny helped you impliment, as near as I can tell, there was not a lot you were doing well.
“And if you were perfect I don’t even know if we would want to watch.”
Then we are in agreement, the thing that made her good for the show was her inept parenting.
No, Solo – we do not agree.. There’s a difference in having flaws and being unfit to give advice. I don’t believe Kadi’s on here ‘giving me advice’ anyway – I think she’s having an open forum for parenting ideas and information to be shared freely.
And the fact that you would use the word “popped out” to describe giving birth tells me you probably don’t have children/family/brain/soul ..and so…by your own reasoning are you qualified to even post on this page..? Hmm..
Every single blog I visit has these people who place all human beings in the “you’re perfect” category or the “you suck” category and it’s so stupid.
Oh Kadi – I know it’s super hard not to listen to the negative feedback (have you my Jon & Kate plus 8 group on blogfabulous?) but you shouldn’t. They’re just the mean girls from high school who became the mean mommies.
Your episode, I just watched this morning, made me tear up. You brought up some very real tough issues that you needed help with. You took constructive criticism well. I loved the ADHD content, the meet the mommies, the hearts to you kids, the husband/dad sexuality issue, the mini-mom issue. Those are all individually really hard issues and you were coping with them all at once – of course you needed help!
You were open to help and change and transformation and forgiveness and some education. THAT’s what makes good parenting – not getting it right all the time.
I thought it was wonderful. I got teary a few times. Bravo to you brave soul.
I certainly don’t put Kati in one of two categories like you say. I’m sure she has some fine qualities and she does not suck as a parent in the sense that her kids should be taken from her. She is also not, from what I saw, a “good” parent by any stretch of the imagination. If she is not giving advice that is wonderful, but she is the one who came up with the article that seems to be saying she deserves to be giving advice. The parenting that I saw last night was somewhere between fair and poor.
I used the term popped out because that is exactly what she did (7 in 8 years), without consideration for how it would effect her children. Yet another sign that she is not the type of person that should be doling out advice on the subject.
the term ‘popped out’ is offensive to any woman who has ever GIVEN BIRTH. It takes seriousness and value away from the literal act of a woman growing a human being inside her body for 3/4 of a year, surviving nausea, what feels like a bladder infection, aches, pains, fatigue, swelling, stretching of skin to the point of leaving a mark, headaches, backaches, kicks and punches to all internal organs, and countless uncomfortable exams down there towards the end; the end being unbelievable act of PUSHING A HUMAN BEING OUT OF HER VAGINA (sometimes w/ no drugs. It is something to be respected and this woman has done it 7 times in eight years. Why would you think it’s your right to belittle that?
Your right and I apologize. I should have never said she popped those kids out. I ammend my comment to:
what [Kadi], other than the fact that you “PUSH[ed]” out an inordinate number of children, makes you qualified to give parneting advice.
Now that, that is out of the way Ashley, perhaps you could explain to me what is so special about carrying offspring to term and then “PUSHING” it out? My german shepherd did this and immediately ate all her puppies.
what’s so special about it? Ask your mom.
Holy crap solo, you did not just compare women to your german shepherd. That’s really not cool.
BTW I don’t think Kadi is giving parenting advice either. She always leaves the comments open for discussion. I think she’s more presenting her views and then seeing what people think. I’ve never read a post by her that says, “Do this or your kids won’t turn out well,” not once.
Why? Are you too inarticulate to explain it?
Picture the hardest thing that you’ve physically or emotionally ever experienced and then multiply that beyond belief – and then factor in the crazy fact that we don’t actually eat our young; we love them, raise them, devote attention and time and money to them for the rest of our lives..sometimes with no help or support.
Kadi, I am totally shocked at the gall of some peeps. I really thought you wouldn’t get any negative comments. Everyone around here LOVED it and it helped some peeps around here too.
I can’t wait for my turn. Love, Christy
so….solo..I popped out 8 children, and had several miscarriages in my parenting career. I do parenting counseling as well as marital counseling…not because I have a degree but because having that many kids,a nd being married for 28 years gives me some pretty impressive OJT.
Just out of curiousity, are you a blogger, because, you know, I am not sure that if you are not a professional blogger you are equipped to give advice to Kadi about what she should and should not blog.
There are many things that I find galling. However, of all of the stupidity I hear, having someone be rude about the number of children a couple has is…hmmm…the ultimate in haughtiness.
Oh..and I have not eaten one of my children, yet. I am close to menopause so it looks like maybe I am in the clear there. No worries.
Hey, solo, is your name adrian…..
Marye I have no idea how having a gaggle of children qualifies you. I also have no idea how remaining married for 28 yrs qualifies you. Statistically child abuse is higher in large families, so a bunch of kids, eaten or not is nothing in and of itself worth taking pride in. Many people stay in miserable relationships for their entire lives. The idea that you THINK these things are enough to qualify you tends to lend credence to the idea that perhaps you are not qualified in these areas at all.
As for the blogger question, I have not question her ability to blog or what she blogs. Likely she says and does many stupid things to draw attention to her blog. That makes sense and I take my hat off to her. However speaking to the question of whether she is qualified to give parental advice, I would say she has displayed a terrible lack of sophistication on the subject and is not qualified.
Yes, but my friends call me Aids.
Hey Solo, perhaps sometime you can walk across that pond and share your parenting expertise with us so that we could all learn by whatever it is that makes you expert enough to judge what is good and bad parenting.
Oops, delayed thought… perhaps it was the poor upbringing you had that caused you to turn out to be a cold and callused adult that goes around saying mean and spiteful things to intentionally hurt people.
Growing up with bad parenting doesn’t make you an expert on what good parenting is – not by a long shot.
Ok, I’m done now.
WOW I cant believe some kooky people. Kadi just let it roll off your back as you are a strong woman.
all of us at the shop watched the show we laughed and cried. you were the talk of shop today and will be for sometime you are a wonderful parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! everyone said what a beautiful girl you are. keep up the good work. we love you aunt Joyce
Look Aunt Joyce, I am not saying she is not a wonderful person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I don’t see why a person who makes money blogging and puts her family on national TV would expect something other than honesty. Unless you watched a different show than I did you saw a woman who has some major parenting deficiencies or maybe everyone is defending her because they are just as bad, but it was bad and the whole thing with Dad, as if they crossed some kind of frightening gulf to treat him with respect? I was a little sick by the end of it.
Solow I am NOT YOUR aunt.
I did see the same show. you have a brain deficiency. you are not in this family and do not know the pain it caused our family when her dad came out.
Why don’t you show us how that “respect” thing goes solo?
No one is making you come to this blog and take Kadi’s parenting advice. You’re free to go where the perfect parents are to take advice from them.
Hi Kadi! Would you believe that I only caught the first 5 minutes or so of the show…We had unexpected company, and I was SO disappointed that I missed it! However, I want you to know that I really enjoy all of your parenting posts! There are NO perfect parents out there, so anything I can learn from fellow parent is most appreciated! Keep up the great work!
I’m not looking for parenting advice Trace
Aunt Joyce divorce is always painful. Beyond that it is the small minded people like you and her husband who made the pain nearly unbearable.
Gayla, Does it really take an expert to know not to scream incesently at your children, ADHD or not. Does it take an expert to know that one per year is utter and complete stupidity. I wonder what religion she is. Only religious fanatacism could cause someone to behave so recklessly and stupidly.
Solo, screaming at your kids is not ok, that I agree with. But if memory serves, that was one of the issues Kadi was learning about. Some parents never learn how to be chill, at least she’s trying by learning new options. I bet other parents watching the show learned a new option too.
That said, to attack number of children choices and religion – well, now you’re just flaming. Try to be constructive in a way that serves to help, not degrade.
Why is that flaming more than any other thing. People come here acting as though she has done the world a service by pushing out a kid every year. The opposite is true, and if it is her religious choice that leads her to make that poor choice, than that becomes a legitimate issue as well.
Solo, It saddens me to see such judgement and hate spewed toward someone you don’t know. I’m not going to lecture you about what you have or have not said that is right or wrong. I’m going to leave you with a verse, 1 “Do not say what is wrong in other people’s lives. Then other people will not say what is wrong in your life. 2 You will be guilty of the same things you find in others. When you say what is wrong in others, your words will be used to say what is wrong in you. 3 Why do you look at the small piece of wood in your brother’s eye, and do not see the big piece of wood in your own eye? ” Matthew 7: 1-3
Why then are you here?
To be mean?
Trace and Mandy. Pull your heads out of your respective backsides. I am here because Kadi posted a blog with a question in it that I happened upon. Since I also happened to watch Supernanny for the first time ever last night I responded and since then the discussion has a life of it’s own. I don’t own it. I am here giving honest answers to the question she put forth while others are here just to cheer her on, for what?
Here is a verse that you can consider:
“When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things.” I Cor. xiii. 11.
Grow up. Neither she nor you are cheerleaders any longer.
The trouble he makes will return to him. When he hurts others it will come down on his own head. Psalm 7:16
Funny to tell a teacher from a very high poverty school who deals daily with children who are abused, and is a mother to three children of her own to pull her head out her backside. I didn’t cheer anyone on. I haven’t spoken against you. I encouraged you to quit spewing hate, and you spewed it my way. You can be accusatory and hateful all evening long, it doesn’t get your point across at all. It makes you look so uneducated and small. There are more constructive ways to initiate a conversation than to belittle someone.
Thanks, I thought that was funny. All I have done is give an honest answer to Ms. Prescott and honest replies to the rest of you.
BTW I don’t subscribe to biblical teachings. Too accusatory and hateful for my taste.
Biblical teachings are too accusatory and hateful? That figures too. That explains a lot about your posts. I’ll pray for you tonight. Sad that the thought of abused children is funny to you. BTW- I was never a cheerleader, nor did I ever want to be. I’m sure that you are a very smart man, so good luck to you solo, wherever you find yourself in life……
And I’ll sacrafice a goat for you. We will effect each other equally.
What I think is funny is you with your head up your backside. Kind of sexy too.
@ Solo – It doesn’t take an expert to know not to scream, but it takes one hell of a mother to feel the guilt after it happens.
Mother’s are human. I have three teenage boys and there are times when I feel like the worlds biggest drill sergeant. Yet, if you ask my kids on any given day – they will tell you that as a mom, I rock!
If any of us were perfect we’d be walking on water – and that includes you.
This is more a place to discuss parenting, not give advice. Sure we will occasionally *reference* advice given by other supposed professionals and I’ll be the first to stand up and give all the reasons why it won’t work or why it will.
Did you mean incessantly? Honestly, if anyone wishes to find fault in others so easily, I really wish they’d at least use spell check as to not reveal the minor faults of their own. Just kind of ruins the whole lot of fun for me
What’s SO wrong with being nice and having a nice friendly discussion? Perhaps, Solo, you can answer that for me? I’m reading a book right now called “Handling Difficult People” and you are a classic “constant complainer” — If someone close to you says something like “I hope I get that promotion.” Do you respond with something like “you probably won’t get it, they’re probably give it to so and so down the hall for wearing the short skirts.” Would it EVER occur to you to respond with something like “awesome, I really hope you get it – you deserve it.”?
Do you KNOW Kadi in person? Is that where this is stemming from? Or do you just pick people at random from television and pick them apart because you can, safely from behind the internet?
Solo:
I don’t think anyone here is cheering Kadi on for having so many children – it’s the fact that she has so many children, gets out of bed in the morning, still looks hot, has a successful blog going, has a clean house, gives them all rides and lunches and time and hugs, doesn’t beat any of them, hasn’t gotten overwhelmed and abandoned them, and mostly because she has enough courage to admit she needs help in some areas and does that in front of millions of people in the hopes of setting an example and helping other families.
The point of the show is not – everybody act like Kadi pre-Supernanny – the point is – take something positive to your own family from the positive changes Jo implements.
And yes, divorce is hard for everyone. But for a daughter or wife to discover that Dad/husband isn’t at all what he said he was IN ADDITION TO ‘he’s leaving us’ is brutal and extreme.
Kadi – I recommend you take Kate’s approach to negative comments – DELETE.
In Communist China couples are limited to 1 child. In America – Kadi is free to have however many children she chooses. She doesn’t need your permission or your approval Solo.
Sara l. ~ Did you get the Gratitude basket, yet? I shipped it out last Saturday.
Solo~ I would be more inclined to believe that your intentions are to simply answer a question that was posed in my post, if you were not over at my personal blog, bashing me as well. It would appear that you are one of those freaky people who become obsessed with people who you love to hate and feel compelled to try and ruin them. I pity you.
Is there anywhere online where we can watch the episode, or clips from the episode? ABC doesn’t have full episodes of Supernanny on it’s site.
I agree with most everything that solo says. Everyone that I know that watched this barbie doll wannabe on Supernanny saw right through her. She is the evil one. In fact, we believe she is a terrible parent, sitting at her computer all day blogging about herself and posting photos of herself in a bathing suit on the internet with every perv in the world out there. Kadi has some obvious emotional and psychological problems that she needed to fix before she started having babies. She is obtuse, ego driven, narcissistic and shallow. It is all about her. And what a sad, and inauthentic life for her children.
Dang does anyone know where there’s a contest going on for the most comments on a blog in a month? I’m thinking if I piss off a few more here I might just win.
This is ridiculous people. Solo you’re acting like your somehow threatened by Kadi – what did she beat you out for homecoming queen or something?
Get over it – she was on the show, you weren’t and you’ve more than answered her question. You’re doing nothing but spewing hate and hurt now.
It’s no longer welcomed here. Be nice or leave please.
Realmom: What about Kadi made you think “Barbie wannabe?” She doesn’t have long blonde hair, didn’t have on an evening gown, wasn’t sitting around eating bon-bons or flying the friendly skies..
I suspect your real issue is w/ her weight. If so maybe you should get help w/ your own issues rather than blasting another mom/woman/human being for hers.
And who says moms can’t wear bikinis? What the heck’s wrong w/ that?
Solo and Realmom should start their own haters club because they are both bashing me on both blogs. If they are so sickened by me then why do they insist on sticking around? I’m a wonderful mom, I’m a genuinely nice person, I’m successful in whatever I choose to do in life, I care about others and always try to help others, I have an awesome marriage, a nice body, a nice house and a great life. Noone of your hateful words will ever convince me otherwise. If it is the thousands of other people who read this blog and my blog, who you are trying to bring over to the dark side, don’t waste your time. I am lucky. I do have a lot of people who love me and stick up for me. That is what happens when you are a genuinely good person. Who is sticking up for you guys? Nobody. It is the two of you pitiful humans who are bashing and that is it. Go find one of those hater forums where you can join the other hateful, self professed perfect people, in trying to make a good person look bad. It is not going to work here or over at Seven Seeds. Have a nice life.
If I can interject a male opinion here (am I the only guy here??) I think that Kadi and her family are beautiful people. Kadi looks WONDERFUL for a woman who has given birth to 7 children. And the attacks she has received since the show aired are merely other people’s jealousy shining through. Gayla hit the nail on the head…….Kadi was on the show and you weren’t. Jealousy is the basis for those personal attacks against her. Instead of being jealous, people should try to improve their own lives rather than coming down on others. I think this is all stuff we learned as children ourselves, right?? Play nice or don’t play at all!
Now, did anyone record the show or know where we can watch the show online? I missed most of it and would love to see it in it’s entirety.
Jason, thanks for your input! It’s truly valued and you are a brave soul for speaking up.
I wish I knew where to find the full length shows. I’ve tried emailing the main website before and got no response. We’ll just have to catch it in rerun or hope someone puts it on YouTube.
In the book I’m reading on difficult people – constant complainers find only faults in others. They can’t stand for others to be better then them, look better then them – or have attention they deeply crave.
I have to wonder if Solo’s husband didn’t have similar comments to those of my husband — my husband said “damn, Kadi is hot” and you know, he was right! I’m not jealous – I agree with him.
Just because my husband is married to me doesn’t mean he’s DEAD – I like the fact that he looks at other women and comments on their beauty – because when he tells me I look beautiful I believe him.
Jealousy is a terrible thing and it makes people look VERY silly when they act out on it.
I hope Kadi keeps letting this venom roll over her back
Why would I be jealous of someone so pathetic that she has to find friends from far away (not her own neighbors for goodness sake, not real people) to stick up for her? I have no issue with her weight. She can be any size she wants to be. She is a barbie doll wannabe because she is still stuck in the wanna be cheerleader role that only stupid girls fall for in the first place. Nice that she brings up her body, as does Jason. I say, you should stick with that rather than trying to sound intelligent. As for moms wearing bikinis, not a problem. You want your mom to post herself on the internet in a bikini? Something sort of sad about that concept, don’t you think? I know a million Kadi’s. Our culture is saturated with the poor things now. She just hit a nerve with me and many women that I know because, don’t forget folks, she has put herself out there now. It isn’t just fan club life in the real world. I truly truly believe she needs help. I honestly feel sorry for her children. I think she is a lost person trying to find meaning in all the wrong places……not a hatemonger, just speaking the truth.