The Invisible Illness

By Guest Blogger Patti G.

I don’t look like there’s anything wrong with me. If you saw me you wouldn’t know that I’m in pain. Everyday activities are challenging and I never know how my body will feel from one day to the next. Simple things, like laundry and dishes, become impossible some days, barely tolerable others.

I live with Fibromyalgia.

Image: istockphoto

I hurt my back in a fall eleven years ago. For many years I dealt with trying to learn how to live with the chronic pain from it. I tried everything; medication, injections, physical therapy. Nothing helped; my doctors finally told me I’d have to live with it.

About five years ago my pain changed. It moved through my body, it moved beyond my back. It felt all-consuming. Some doctors told me that it was ‘referred’ pain, my back still the cause of it. Others told me that it was in my head.

A move brought a new doctor. One who listened carefully to me, beyond just my medical records. And he was able to diagnose the Fibromyalgia. It was both frightening and a relief. It was nice to have an answer, to know I was right thinking there was something else going on. But it was frightening getting a diagnosis that had no solution. I’m glad it’s not more serious, it’s not life threatening. But it has changed my life.

There are medications out now for Fibromyalgia, unfortunately they didn’t work for me. Over the last couple of years I’ve learned to live with it, gained some coping skills that give me the best chance of functioning as normally as I can.

The most important thing, and the hardest, was accepting it. I hurt and that’s not going to change. I listen to my body, if I push it too far it will be worse. I’ve learned what time of day I feel best and I schedule myself accordingly. I’ve made my surroundings as accommodating as I can–everything from what shelf towels are on to how I sit at my computer.

It’s easiest at home; it gets harder out in public. I don’t look ill and I’m not elderly. It’s hard asking for help lifting things. I’ve gotten more than a few raised eyebrows. I look like I should be able to lift a case of water or put the groceries in the car. I didn’t ask for help for a long time, it felt like giving in to something I didn’t want to admit had so much control over me. I learned the hard way, lifting that case of water made me hurt more. My mind needed to accept it to help my body feel the best it can.

Fibromyalgia is a challenge, but it can be manageable. With acceptance and awareness I function better now than I did when I was first diagnosed. I have good days and bad days, but now I feel like I have some control over all of them.

For further information about Fibromyalgia, check the Mayo Clinic website.