The Mystery That is Man, 5 Quick Insights

Men can be hard to figure out. They say that about us women, but men can use this combination of sarcasm and bravado – with women and with other men – that confuses me sometimes.  Marie Claire’s Rich Santos, a male dating blogger, shares a peak into the male mind…..

*Go forth with confidence. It’s the fake-it-till-you-make-it school of thought.

Santos says, “Men are taught that confidence solves just about anything. You can be making a total mistake, but as long as you’re confident, it will turn out okay. This may explain why we are so clueless at what we are doing in bed, but we act like we know.”

*A little self-control is not a bad thing. Have a glass of wine, but I don’t care how they are portrayed in romantic-comedies, a sloppy drunk girl is not cute.

Santos says, “Getting too tipsy on a date is a turnoff. Some people turn into a completely different person when they are drunk. Let the other person learn about you while you’re sober… Alcohol should be introduced into the relationship slowly…”

*He really does like the natural look. My daughter was telling me that her new boyfriend doens’t want her to wear makeup. They all say this and I think that they like the idea that their girl is a natural beauty, but we ladies can feel more confident with a little makeup. The trick is to keep it light and subtle.

Santos says, “Seems like as time goes by, makeup makes like the earth and erodes and changes with weathering. There is nothing more ghastly than makeup run amuck in the morning after spending the night together.”

*Men think women are crazy. I could take offense at this one, but I’m going to give men a break here. It’s not just women – humans are crazy. The trick is the find the crazy that you can stand to live with.

Santos says, “Once I accepted that women were ‘crazy’ (many older guys had insisted they were for years), it seemed to take a huge load of pressure off me. No longer was I trying to rationalize moves that women made that got me into crazy analysis cycles. When I just throw it all out the window and dismiss it as ‘crazy,’ it makes it easier to deal.”

*Yes, commitment does scare him. Here’s where I think women differ – we take a man and we make him somehow fit with our ideal. We stick him into a box where maybe he doesn’t fit so well. Men are the opposite, they wonder about the possibilities and question how they will recognize The One when she arrives.

Santos says, “Commitment means that I’ve decided that the woman I’m settling down with is perfect and there is no one else out there for me. Commitment means I’ve found my soul mate, that I am completely secure with myself, and that there should be no going back. I don’t know about you, but all of that is pretty heavy.”

Check out the rest of Rich Santo’s 20 Secrets Men Keep here.

Image credit: Michelle Smith