The NYC Celebrity Sighting Game.

I am one of those people who, if a celebrity were sitting next to me in a cafe, I would not recognize him or her–unlike my husband, who can spot a local tv weather person from across Fifth Avenue.

Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be able to have a casual conversation with Sarah Jessica Parker in a downtown NYC diner.

On the other hand, on the rare occasion that I do spot someone, something happens to my brain, and I become a different person. (why is that?) Once I saw Matthew Broderick in a restaurant and I nearly trampled another diner, just to get a closer look. (more importantly, for him to see me.)

New York is teeming with celebrities. You always hear gossip about some starlet who just bought a fabulous loft in Tribeca for millions of dollars…when the average person wouldn’t be able to locate (never mind purchase) a mailbox sized place. Where are all of these apartments?

There is actually etiquette in dealing with the celebrity sighting…if you do see one, you ignore that person — then as soon as he/she passes, you call all of your friends to let them know, and of course you embellish the story as in:

“I just saw James Gandolfini in a bar and boy was he hammered! — I’m telling you, I had to escort him to the restroom, that’s how blottoed he was! AND he said hi to me.”

New York Magazine has put together a Star Map of the city by neighborhood…which should be helpful the next time you are out on your lunch break and pretend to see one of them. Here are a couple neighborhoods in which a siting is probable, not that you really care:

• Upper East Side: Woody Allen, Liza Minelli, Rudy Guliani
• Upper West Side/Central Park: Tina Fey, Penny Marshall, Bono, Ricky Martin
• Midtown: Rosie O’Donnell, Kim Cattrall, Paris and Nicky Hilton, Anderson Cooper
• West Village/Soho: Chloe Sevingny, Liv Tyler, Julia Roberts, Drew Barrymore, Racheal Ray
• East Village/Tribeca: James Gandolfini, Sarah Jessica Parker, David Bowie

Shhh! Don’t tell anyone!

Image: Peter Rad/New York Magazine