The Perfect Gift for Mother’s Day
May 11, 2008 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
Hope you got the perfect gift for Mother’s Day—-Margaret Lenahan has. Her 16-year-old son, James, was diagnosed with autism around the time that he turned two; today, he is a junior in the Ryken program for special needs students at Xaverian High School in Brooklyn, and a member of the varsity B basketball team for the Xaverian Clippers. From today’s Staten Island Advance:
Get this clear: He’s no sympathy case. He’s a teammate.
“He’s a tough player. He’s really strong. He pushes kids around,” says Tim O’Toole, Joe’s son [Joe O'Toole is another coach] and a Fastbreakers forward. “And when he boxes out, he gets his elbows out there.”
“If you’re going to run a play, whatever you tell him to do, he’ll do it,” said Dylan Burns, Tom’s son [Tom Burns is the guidance counselor who got James to play on the team]. “It’s great having him.”
“The kids,” said coach Burns. “They wanted him on the team. They asked me to give him a uniform.”
“I respect them,” said James. “They wanted me to come. And now I’m returning them the favor.”
“By doing what?” Burns asks him.
“By playing as hard as I could,” James said.
I’ve gotten my gift: Charlie has been learning to play the cello for the past few months. It’s been a very slow process, with the school music teacher and me brainstorming each step of the way. Just teaching Charlie how to hold the cello and how to arrange his body—his knees, legs, shoulders, elbow, arms—-has been an exercise in gross motor planning; I’ve been sitting down with the instrument and seeing how to best sit and angle my ow knees (helps to be the same height as Charlie!).
Charlie’s learned to read and play the A and D strings and is almost there with the G and C strings. He knows how to hold the bow and has only been bowing the C string which is the lowest and the one furthest to the right, and therefore the easiest for him to reach. On the advice of the music teacher to try to get Charlie to use his elbow more, I’ve been kneeling by him and doing what I guess you’d have to call “hand over elbow” to show him (without words) how to bow the other strings. And today, after plucking through a couple of pages of A’s and D’s, I handed the bow to Charlie and he played C-C-C-C-C-C and C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C and more C’s and then I heard it.
G-G-G, quick and short with just a bit of the bow.
G-G-G, bit of the D string, G’s and back to C, C, C, C.
And a lot of applause.
I always wanted to learn how to play the piano. Growing up in New Providence all my friends had pianos in their house, but were not interested in playing when I was there since they took lessons.
My son Matthew lights up around music in his videos and at the old school he loved the music teacher there and from what I was told liked her voice.
I was just thinking yesterday maybe we should look into a piano and take lessons together.
Nick used to read to classes at his old school. They had one day called Read in and parents could come as well. His fourth grade teacher told me he was very animated in his reading and we should look into Drama. I thought that this was great feedback since sports and music were of no interest, so maybe in high school we can look into that if he does not get into the LA zoo high school magnet.
Bowing takes a while to learn! The results are worth it, though. When Charlie gets the hang of bowing, he’ll like the tone and want to play more and more.
My son Nick likes to bowl. Their summer autism daycamp goes bowling as well.
I can see from practicing cello with Charlie that he’s never really had to use his elbow and that upper part of his arm. His face especially lights up when he hears the sounds—-pizzicato is ok but not the same.
Piano sounds great, Bonnie! I found myself having to convince people that it was music lessons we wanted for Charlie and not music therapy—I really wanted him to learn to play an instrument.
We’ve tried bowling too and Charlie seems to like it, but then bowling alleys tend to have snack bars…..
Happy Mothers Day!!
Happy Belated Mother’s Day!