The Same Deal

When the economy got flushed last fall, I wanted them to make some sort of exception and keep Alex in his elementary school for one more year. I figured better you’re with the people who’ve known and loved you for years when the money and resources run short.

Things have changed. “Rebound” is a word you actually spot now sometimes in business news; the Stimulus Plan, educators tell me, will provide a little transfusion relatively soon to schools and special-ed; and I’ve had a chance to think about how Alex maybe needs to move on.

Image: KPBS, flickr.com

I got that last idea when I stopped to think how long I spent in my elementary school — which, I’m informed, since became Bangor, Maine’s first elementary school to house classrooms for students with autism. I was there from K to 6: seven years, longer than I spent in any one school to the end of my formal education at about age 21. After Vine Street Elementary, it was a year or three here, a year or three there, until I was shanghaied by the work world.

Perhaps, Alex is entering a new phase. And it was arresting to see the classrooms of a middle school, where similar behavior to that I’ve seen from Alex and his elementary-school classmates took place somewhere that just seemed more studious. The tone was quieter, the books thicker, and it seemed to me the students were expected to keep their noses closer to the grindstone. This, I believe, will move Alex on, at least for a few years.

Not that there’s anywhere for him to go. We were first recommended to two schools, and neither seems to have a spot. Jill’s fixed on another middle school she likes the sound and tone of, but again, no empty seats. “He’ll go to school somewhere,” Jill says, exhausting her certainty for September.

A Rochester, N.Y. sped teacher I met a few weeks ago emphasizes that Jill and I face a similar challenge to the one we beat in early 1999, when the then-infant Alex needed another hospital to help him climb to the next stage. It was a matter of bed and not desks, but our hospital of choice then also didn’t have many openings. Jill and I went anyway, we noticed, we noted, and we decided and then we fought. Same deal, I think, same deal. Least we’ve been there.

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The Southern Poverty Law Center has released the booklet Speak Up: Responding to Everyday Bigotry. Strategies and tips for dealing with untoward comments from family, friends, schoolmates, strangers, and others.