Comments on: The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/ Family, Health, Home and Lifestyles Sun, 06 Dec 2009 13:54:05 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: L.D. http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/comment-page-1/#comment-91589 L.D. Sun, 13 Apr 2008 19:50:40 +0000 http://www.careerandkids.com/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom/#comment-91589 Yes. This show indeed hits a nerve. So they are onto something dynamic. I have watched it 3 times, two of those times the full episode. I will not watch again. I think it misses the mark in so many ways. The title, host (DUI w/ kids in the car!? where should I start); the husband comes off looking like a buffoon and to a certain extent the women too. At one point the soccer mom makes a statement about how wonderful it is being a mother/SAHM and its the best 'job' in the world and in the next frame, she is stating how incomplete she is. Give me a break. I think these women have bigger issues than any new job/'career' can fix. I would like to see the soccer mom challenge the potential employer back at the end of the show and request an employment position with flex-hours or reduced-hours schedule so they can strike a better work/life balance. I would tell her ,'lady, the grass is always greener'. You think you are missing out on life now? Just wait until you are back working in your dream career 50-60 hours a week for an extremely demanding small, privately-owned fashion firm or an events company where you work crazy hours. I give these women 6 months tops before they are a wreck and even more miserable. I felt no connection with these women. At the end of the day, there is no one choice for anyone. I have observed that women leave the workforce 1) b/c their child has special needs and their decision is purely emotional; 2) they don't make enough money to make it worthwhile to continue to work or/& have a crummy job 3) they have hit the marriage lottery with the husband making enough for the entire family 4) their husband doesn't want them working or they have always dreamed of staying at home. Further, I have yet to witness very many women re-enter the work force successfully at jobs / in careers comparable in compensation to what they left prior to kids. I have observed many moms end up in retail b/c they can't get back into their former career. If this program was revamped, it would appeal to a broader audience, maybe even the big networks and me! Yes. This show indeed hits a nerve. So they are onto something dynamic. I have watched it 3 times, two of those times the full episode. I will not watch again.
I think it misses the mark in so many ways. The title, host (DUI w/ kids in the car!? where should I start); the husband comes off looking like a buffoon and to a certain extent the women too. At one point the soccer mom makes a statement about how wonderful it is being a mother/SAHM and its the best ‘job’ in the world and in the next frame, she is stating how incomplete she is. Give me a break. I think these women have bigger issues than any new job/’career’ can fix.
I would like to see the soccer mom challenge the potential employer back at the end of the show and request an employment position with flex-hours or reduced-hours schedule so they can strike a better work/life balance. I would tell her ,’lady, the grass is always greener’. You think you are missing out on life now? Just wait until you are back working in your dream career 50-60 hours a week for an extremely demanding small, privately-owned fashion firm or an events company where you work crazy hours. I give these women 6 months tops before they are a wreck and even more miserable. I felt no connection with these women.
At the end of the day, there is no one choice for anyone. I have observed that women leave the workforce 1) b/c their child has special needs and their decision is purely emotional; 2) they don’t make enough money to make it worthwhile to continue to work or/& have a crummy job 3) they have hit the marriage lottery with the husband making enough for the entire family 4) their husband doesn’t want them working or they have always dreamed of staying at home.
Further, I have yet to witness very many women re-enter the work force successfully at jobs / in careers comparable in compensation to what they left prior to kids. I have observed many moms end up in retail b/c they can’t get back into their former career.
If this program was revamped, it would appeal to a broader audience, maybe even the big networks and me!

]]> By: Pamela http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/comment-page-1/#comment-91437 Pamela Sun, 23 Mar 2008 16:46:48 +0000 http://www.careerandkids.com/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom/#comment-91437 I don't see any self-indulging women putting themselves first on this show. I see women who have let go of their dreams, or put them on hold, in order to put their families first. I don't think this show has to send a message that is a role model to college aged women. Yes, the ideal is that you are able to "have it all," both a career and a family. OR, to phrase it very differently, to have what you need to feel good in your life -- every person, every woman, deserves to live a life that is fulfilling TO HER. If you are fulfilled by being a fulltime mom, that is fabulous, go for it, but don't insist that everyone who doesn't feel the same is bad. There is a sizeable chunk of mothers who inspite of being excellent mothers do not feel complete by being fulltime caretakers, and they are entitled to pursue lives in which they live to the fullest of their potential. The problem is that the family often does not have enough support in our society (the extended family, the affordable daycare etc) to allow both parents to do that. It is never self-indulgent, wrong or selfish to seek a life that makes you whole. You can do it in a way that your spouse and children can also get what they need to be happy productive individuals. I enjoy this show! I love watching these amazing women jump to the challenge of overcoming their self-doubts and proving they have what it takes to do something they've always wanted to do. I don’t see any self-indulging women putting themselves first on this show. I see women who have let go of their dreams, or put them on hold, in order to put their families first.

I don’t think this show has to send a message that is a role model to college aged women. Yes, the ideal is that you are able to “have it all,” both a career and a family. OR, to phrase it very differently, to have what you need to feel good in your life — every person, every woman, deserves to live a life that is fulfilling TO HER. If you are fulfilled by being a fulltime mom, that is fabulous, go for it, but don’t insist that everyone who doesn’t feel the same is bad. There is a sizeable chunk of mothers who inspite of being excellent mothers do not feel complete by being fulltime caretakers, and they are entitled to pursue lives in which they live to the fullest of their potential. The problem is that the family often does not have enough support in our society (the extended family, the affordable daycare etc) to allow both parents to do that.

It is never self-indulgent, wrong or selfish to seek a life that makes you whole. You can do it in a way that your spouse and children can also get what they need to be happy productive individuals. I enjoy this show! I love watching these amazing women jump to the challenge of overcoming their self-doubts and proving they have what it takes to do something they’ve always wanted to do.

]]> By: NTV/NAT Group, Ltd. http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/comment-page-1/#comment-91450 NTV/NAT Group, Ltd. Sun, 23 Mar 2008 13:30:59 +0000 http://www.careerandkids.com/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom/#comment-91450 Ah, nothing like having a washed-up actress -- who endagered her kids lives by not only racking up a DUI, but a DUI which caused a car flip injuring them!!!! -- host a show in which about self-indulging women who put themselves first. Seems just up Tracey Gold's alley. Tsk. Ah, nothing like having a washed-up actress — who endagered her kids lives by not only racking up a DUI, but a DUI which caused a car flip injuring them!!!! — host a show in which about self-indulging women who put themselves first. Seems just up Tracey Gold’s alley. Tsk.

]]> By: jackie http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/comment-page-1/#comment-91473 jackie Wed, 19 Mar 2008 04:11:59 +0000 http://www.careerandkids.com/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom/#comment-91473 Wow, you did not like the decision that she made? Oh Well! After Daycare and gas who was going to take care of her four beautiful kids? YOU? Would you give her support? She said she had no family around and no one to help. Her husband were speaking up for her children and they did not look like they were having any money problems....She probably did the show to see if she could do it and she did, she did not know they were going to offer her the job. Good for her! Remember it is a t.v. show - she has the best job in the world! Wow, you did not like the decision that she made? Oh Well! After Daycare and gas who was going to take care of her four beautiful kids? YOU? Would you give her support? She said she had no family around and no one to help. Her husband were speaking up for her children and they did not look like they were having any money problems….She probably did the show to see if she could do it and she did, she did not know they were going to offer her the job. Good for her! Remember it is a t.v. show – she has the best job in the world!

]]> By: Lisa Mednick Takami http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/comment-page-1/#comment-91495 Lisa Mednick Takami Tue, 18 Mar 2008 06:10:53 +0000 http://www.careerandkids.com/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom/#comment-91495 I was very disappointed by the decision made by the woman featured in this evening's episode of SLSM. Talk about stereotypical gender roles! This talented mother of 4 simply was not willing to challenge her husband's chauvanism in order to honor her personal aspirations and her family's financial well-being. I thought the other officer featured served as an excellent role model. I would like to see more women of color featured in upcoming episodes. I was very disappointed by the decision made by the woman featured in this evening’s episode of SLSM. Talk about stereotypical gender roles! This talented mother of 4 simply was not willing to challenge her husband’s chauvanism in order to honor her personal aspirations and her family’s financial well-being. I thought the other officer featured served as an excellent role model. I would like to see more women of color featured in upcoming episodes.

]]> By: Chas http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/comment-page-1/#comment-91453 Chas Sat, 15 Mar 2008 19:19:20 +0000 http://www.careerandkids.com/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom/#comment-91453 SLSM feels like it belongs to another decade in which stereotypical gender roles are perpetuated by the television program. Moms are expected to stay home while fathers work and fail as child care providers. While I love seeing professional women in real life and on reality television achieving personal career goals and being recognized for their talents as individuals, the stark contrast (created on the show) between that and being a mother is disheartening. SLSM should not have created such a dynamic between being a mom and being in the work force, as if a woman has to belong to one mutual exclusive category and lack in other facets of her life. The average American woman is not faced with the dilemma of “you can get with this or you can get with that,” but exists with her wardrobe of many hats. I think TLC failed to consider its audience during the development stages of the show. Limiting the episodes to focusing on white, middleclass, married, heterosexual families is not representative of American women who have children. Presenting one type of woman (a “soccer mom”) does not include the rest of us. The message being sent out to college age women, like myself, is a discouraging one. I would acknowledge any woman my age who felt disturbed after seeing the show; wondering if she too will have to choose between being a mom or having a career, when she wants both. SLSM failed to represent women (and men) as being well-rounded and capable of fulfilling a multiplicity of duties at home and abroad. The show forcing women to chose and depicting their lifestyles as one-dimensional is unrealistic, uninspiring and sends a bad message out to prospective mothers and workers. SLSM feels like it belongs to another decade in which stereotypical gender roles are perpetuated by the television program. Moms are expected to stay home while fathers work and fail as child care providers.

While I love seeing professional women in real life and on reality television achieving personal career goals and being recognized for their talents as individuals, the stark contrast (created on the show) between that and being a mother is disheartening. SLSM should not have created such a dynamic between being a mom and being in the work force, as if a woman has to belong to one mutual exclusive category and lack in other facets of her life. The average American woman is not faced with the dilemma of “you can get with this or you can get with that,” but exists with her wardrobe of many hats.

I think TLC failed to consider its audience during the development stages of the show. Limiting the episodes to focusing on white, middleclass, married, heterosexual families is not representative of American women who have children. Presenting one type of woman (a “soccer mom”) does not include the rest of us.

The message being sent out to college age women, like myself, is a discouraging one. I would acknowledge any woman my age who felt disturbed after seeing the show; wondering if she too will have to choose between being a mom or having a career, when she wants both.

SLSM failed to represent women (and men) as being well-rounded and capable of fulfilling a multiplicity of duties at home and abroad. The show forcing women to chose and depicting their lifestyles as one-dimensional is unrealistic, uninspiring and sends a bad message out to prospective mothers and workers.

]]> By: Michelle http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/comment-page-1/#comment-91429 Michelle Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:50:46 +0000 http://www.careerandkids.com/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom/#comment-91429 In all honesty, it pissed me off. There really is a stigma that unless the woman works she's not being productive and I can tell you as a full time SAHM, that's absolute BS. I'm training my children and teaching them to be productive adults. I had no career in mind when I became a mom. Being a SAHM WAS my dream and to be a good wife to my hubby and homeschool my kids. I don't believe that anybody can truly "have it all" without family or job being shortchanged....and usually its the family that gets shortchanged. In all honesty, it pissed me off. There really is a stigma that unless the woman works she’s not being productive and I can tell you as a full time SAHM, that’s absolute BS. I’m training my children and teaching them to be productive adults. I had no career in mind when I became a mom. Being a SAHM WAS my dream and to be a good wife to my hubby and homeschool my kids. I don’t believe that anybody can truly “have it all” without family or job being shortchanged….and usually its the family that gets shortchanged.

]]> By: Michelle http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/comment-page-1/#comment-91447 Michelle Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:43:13 +0000 http://www.careerandkids.com/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom/#comment-91447 I HATED the show and just finished blogging about it. What bothered me the most aside from all the things done to make for "good" TV, is how it once again brought us back to the mommy wars. The idea that one choice is better than the other and that we have to even make that choice is just wrong. I would much rather see a show that focuses on moms who have found a way to "have it all". I HATED the show and just finished blogging about it. What bothered me the most aside from all the things done to make for “good” TV, is how it once again brought us back to the mommy wars. The idea that one choice is better than the other and that we have to even make that choice is just wrong. I would much rather see a show that focuses on moms who have found a way to “have it all”.

]]> By: Pamela http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/comment-page-1/#comment-91316 Pamela Wed, 05 Mar 2008 21:28:09 +0000 http://www.careerandkids.com/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom/#comment-91316 I actually loved this show. Yes, a large part of it was very strange, and it did feel staged. But I empathized with how scared and overwhelmed she felt being thrown into a stressful and hostile work environment after so much time away….I admired her for sticking with it….I loved her success..I was touched by her husband’s support for her (even while it looked like he was secretly hoping she would stay at home!)…and I was SO glad she chose what she felt would complete her. I actually thought she would choose to stay at home, and I found myself yelling “YES, YES!” when she accepted the job. The show made it abundantly clear in a visceral way how hard it is to juggle a career and family, and how important it can be to do it anyway, even if financially you don’t “have” to. FYI, I'm one of the SAHMs described above who has lost self-confidence in her professional skills, and who has gotten much too much in the habit of ignoring her own needs to those of the family's. The show really gave me hope! I actually loved this show. Yes, a large part of it was very strange, and it did feel staged. But I empathized with how scared and overwhelmed she felt being thrown into a stressful and hostile work environment after so much time away….I admired her for sticking with it….I loved her success..I was touched by her husband’s support for her (even while it looked like he was secretly hoping she would stay at home!)…and I was SO glad she chose what she felt would complete her. I actually thought she would choose to stay at home, and I found myself yelling “YES, YES!” when she accepted the job. The show made it abundantly clear in a visceral way how hard it is to juggle a career and family, and how important it can be to do it anyway, even if financially you don’t “have” to. FYI, I’m one of the SAHMs described above who has lost self-confidence in her professional skills, and who has gotten much too much in the habit of ignoring her own needs to those of the family’s. The show really gave me hope!

]]> By: JayMonster http://www.blisstree.com/articles/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom-155/comment-page-1/#comment-91319 JayMonster Wed, 05 Mar 2008 03:38:31 +0000 http://www.careerandkids.com/the-secret-life-of-a-soccer-mom/#comment-91319 grrr. The more I read about this show, the more I hate it. grrr. The more I read about this show, the more I hate it.

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