The Sister Circle

In my grandmother’s day, being a housewife meant being a wife who stays in the house. She cleaned, cooked, managed finances and looked after the children. Sure, she had the occasional cup of coffee with Mrs. Smith down the street. But there were no such things as ladies’ night out, play groups and chat rooms. I asked my grandma if the women back then ever shared their burdens and struggles, as mothers. She thought for a minute and then admitted that nobody really talked about those things. “We swapped recipes and talked about the next church pot luck. But nothing ever went deeper than the surface.”

I found her statement very sad. I strongly feel that women, especially moms, need to have a support system where they feel safe to vent their feelings and share their struggles. Marital communication was not really made an issue like it is today. In fact, it seemed like everyone aspired to paint a portrait of perfection. Even things like divorce and depression were taboo. I really wonder how all of those women coped with their problems, without having the liberty to talk about difficult issues. This, of course, is a generalization. There might have been women who had a good confessional source or emotional outlet, but the more elderly women I pose the question to, the more I realize that imperfections were just not something that women wanted to admit to.

I’ve decided, in an effort to encourage greater female communication and sisterhood, that I will start a sister circle. I encourage all of you to keep this going. It is an exercise that frees the soul and helps to lift the burdens of the stresses that we encounter, as moms. Even if you are not a mom, I strongly encourage you to join the circle. List your admissions, confessions, burdens or concerns in the comments section. Then, feel free to send an email to your friends, with a link back to this site. The more we spread the word, the larger the circle becomes. As the circle grows in circumference, you will notice many commonalities with other women. It is a nice reminder that we are not alone in our roles!

My Ten Tidbits

1. I struggle with feeling like I am doing an adequate job in my role as a mother.

2. I have a son who has ADHD and I have a hard time feeling confident in my ability to parent him correctly.

3. Sometimes, I get scared that having so many children stretches me so thin that I do not give them the individual attention they deserve.

4. I have horrible eating habits.

5. I chose to have breast augmentation after I was done having children and I have never regretted it.

6. I had a hard time making the decision to have a breast augmentation because I felt like moms shouldn’t do that.

7. I yell at my kids when I know I shouldn’t. It happens out of anger and I feel like crap afterwards.

8. Sometimes I wish that my husband would feel the same guilt that I feel when I’m away from the kids.

9. I take Lexapro to help treat my TMJ symptoms. I have TMJ because I do not handle my stress well. I feel like a loser just for that reason.

10. I have gotten jealous of working moms because I thought they had it easier…even though I know it’s not true.

So there is my list. The bad, the embarrassing and the ugly. But it feels wonderful to lift it off of my chest. I will feel even better knowing that it helped another mom who may struggle with the same issues. Feel free to post your own, anonymously, if you wish. I would appreciate leaving any negative feedback out during this exercise. However, if you read a comment that inspires you, please respond and let that person know. The sister circle is about building each other up and freeing ourselves. I hope that you find it freeing, as well!