The Swan Song
April 30, 2008 by laura
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
This will be my last post for CFS Squared - Tales of CFS. I have enjoyed writing here, for the past two years. But it’s time for me to move on now.
I must say, that this last word stuff is a little daunting. I kind of want to sneak away - and leave you with fun and quirky posts. But, I owe more than that to all of you, and to myself.
On more than one occasion, I have written about Do No Harm. I am going to share a little secret with all of you. Writing and/or following a health blog about chronic illness eats away at the energy you have. It most certainly eats away at mine, which is why I don’t read illness related news blurbs or other blogs. Spending so much time thinking about your illness and how others cope = self harm.
What we should be doing is enjoying life. We should be singing songs to our friends on the phone, hosting dance party in our living rooms, reading Dr Seuss to our favorite 3 year old, playing catch with our dog and his best tennis ball, and throwing fancy dinner parties where we serve pizza and KFC with very expensive wine.
We need to savor the small stuff. Stop analyzing every pain and cough.
Sure, reading about how other people cope with their issues can be somewhat helpful - but this journey is about learning what works for you. My tricks won’t work for everyone. Just like yours won’t always work for me. The best thing to do, is to get out there, and start figuring out what helps. The only way to do that, is to just do it. Be your own Nike advert.
Reading about recent developments for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Fibromyalgia, is not going to help you get well. The latest drug may make life slightly easier for a little while, but will most likely become less effective. I will say one last thing. And this will be the most important advice that you will hear….
Get out of your head!
Now go outside and have some fun!
It’s been a pleasure.
**Picture Source - flickr
Well, I’m certainly sad to see you go, but I completely understand (and agree with you, which is why my blog never turned into the CFS discussion group I had originally envisioned).
I think that people who are new to this illness need to see how it can be done, and to have some options laid out there so they have something to start with - I really appreciated not only the treatment/lifestyle options I read about, but just the “slice of life” things I read to figure out /how/ to live in a slower gear. Oh, laundry is a big energy sucker? Groceries need to be carefully planned?
But at the same time, “teaching”, especially when you are drawing on your own hard lessons, is really hard work and can really colour your emotional state. The information needs to be decimated, but it’s way too much to ask of one person for too long.
Thank goodness for archives ;).
And thank you for being a positive voice in the midst of a very tough way to live. Keep in touch!
Awwww thanks Jenna!
You are very very sweet. Yes the archives - there are lots of them….and its kind of fun to read over them to see if your opinion has changed over time.
It is time for a break, and I will still write for b5 - so you won’t have too much trouble finding me. I won’t be too far away.
Thanks for providing some really insightful comments over the years. You have definitely given me lots to think about - by having slightly different views. I love that!
There is no doubt in my mind that we can overcome.
I think that is awesome advice to leave all the readers with! And I think you have done a great job providing somewhere for discussion about this illness. You will be missed here but I think it will prove to be a very big positive in your own personal life! Thanks for all you have done Laura!
Kendra:)
This is about you evolving yourself and I commend you on what you’ve done here and what you’re doing now. Gotta take care of yourself and you’re sending a very strong message out to all about doing just that.
Kudos!
Laura, you will be missed here!
When do you know it’s time for a break? When you’ve given all you can to a project and in the process found what works best for you.
I can imagine a blog like this was just as much a self-journey as it was a valuable resource for others with this illness. I completely admire your dedication and your soul-baring. I’m sure your readers will miss you greatly, Laura.
Best wishes!
FWIW, you made the right decision for you - I know that this is a tough topic to write about and to read about sometimes and when it’s right to move on - it just is.
CFS readers are going to be sad to see you go, Laura
I have learned a lot reading this blog! I wish you the best of luck managing and LIVING with CFS!
Here’s wishing you lots of fun and lots of sunshine!
Poetry! How to go out while still on top!
Good luck with future endeavors.
Kendra,
thanks! I am looking forward to this next stage of my life.
CMcB,
Thanks for being a supportive force in my life. It makes me feel good to know that you are in my corner.
KK
Thanks - and I will miss it here.
Liberty,
What a nice thing to say. This blog was a big part of my life for a long time. I will miss writing it-and miss conversing with the readers.
But I am really excited about starting a new phase.
Thanks Marijke!
Alicia,
thanks for that. I enjoyed your visits to this blog
REX
Thanks for your support - and oh so controversial comments…
they have always been appreciated
I am so proud of you. You have grown so much in the last year. I hope you are as proud of yourself as I am.
I love you.
Mum
Thanks Mum
Hsien,
your contributions to this blog helped inspire its focus. Thanks for bringing me into the folds….it was fun.
will miss your spirit and hopeful tone! thank you, enjoy, and keep on singing!
Kristina,
thank you, that is very sweet.
Hey Laura, sorry to see you go, but I agree, writing about your illness can be a major energy sucker. I think you’ve given heaps in your time here to people who needed to know what CFS is like and how to lead a fulfilling life with it. You’ve made the right decision - go and enjoy doing something else with the hours you would otherwise spend here!
But tell the truth - it was the Lyr*** people that did it in the end, wasn’t it?
Ellie,
1. Thanks for such a fantastic comment. I think its great that you were one of the very first people who left a comment on this blog when I first took it over….and now it looks like you will be one of the last. I think this is a great way to end.
2. yes
Hi Laura! Sorry to see you go. I do understand where you are coming from, though. I have been running Fighting Fatigue for over two years now and there are times when I don’t want to talk about CFS & FM anymore. Then someone will come on the site and comment about how much what I have written has helped them and that gives me the gusto to continue on a little longer.
Each of us are different and you have to do what is best for YOU. For me, talking about CFS and FM is a form of therapy so I don’t feel dragged down by it most of the time. There are times I do but that is not the majority.
I wish you the best of luck in whatever you do and don’t be a stranger!
Wow, I’m really sorry to hear this. I hope you keep the blog up, though. At least your pages will still be available to others that way.
Sandy,
Thanks! I am glad to know that your site is going strong. Its a great resource. I know lots of people who view writing about their “life situation” as therapy. Its great when it works!
I will still be writing for b5 -at baldiness, so if you guys start missing me, I won’t be too hard to find.
Thanks Tim!
As far as I know, the blog will still be available to people who know how to find it.
Lots of archives to page through….some may even be found to be helpful
Dear Laura,
Your final post made me feel happy-sad - I don’t have a better word for it. I will really miss reading your thoughts and want to thank you for the ENORMOUS difference reading about your journey made to me. Your words have been witty, wise and kind and your attitude always one of great generosity, even on the inevitable bad days.
Well, I only wish I had commented more ofter. However, it sounds like you are more than ready for a break and I hope you that whatever you do next is enriching and rewarding. In short, thank you, and I hope that your ‘new’ life treats you well because you really deserve it. Xxx
Georgina,
Thank you for writing such a lovely comment. Reading what people have written here, makes me feel a bit like being in high school - reading comments that my friends wrote in my yearbook. Except somehow, these ones mean more.
I am glad to know that CFS Squared has helped with your journey. Regular readers made all the difference on this blog….and made it what it was. Thanks for your contributions.
Keep well
Hi there,
I was just googling CFS …New member to the CFS community. Something I new I had and Had to fight docs to agree on and finally diagnose.
BUT>>THANK YOU…..reading your blog made me decide TO NEVER read any blogs…(on CFS) because it does seem to only keep you down in a manner anyway….I took a few quotes about just living instead and savor the small moments…from your blog and put them on a post it by comp…I think I will read blogs or site with quotes about the positive or with pictures of bright flowers when im down instead…thank you dear..Blessings and Peace..and many days to savor to you
Rue
Rue,
Its a good decision to concentrate on the positive living stuff. Doing that will make your journey with CFS -MUCH EASIER. There is a lot of good stuff that can come from CFS. Its not always easy to find, but it is there.
Good luck with your journey towards health.
I also find blogging about my illness to be a form of therapy and it peeves me a little to read your last post and see how you presume to tell all of us that blogging about CI isn’t good for our health.
I read this last post awhile ago and waited to comment to see if I could find a more charitable way to say it. I would’ve just blown it off, but reading others comments who seem to be taking their clue on reading blogs about CI from this last post, I had to say what was in my heart. One straight shooter to another, I bet you’ll understand.
I wish you bunches of the best in all your future endeavors!!!
Bye Laura, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog but I hear what you’re saying. Take care of yourself, we’ll miss you:)
Hi Laura,
How you are keeping well.
Miss your writings.
God bless.
Hi all!
I don’t think I have access any longer to approve more comments on this blog. But I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your kind words and support. Its so nice to hear!
Anyway, you can all visit me at my brand new personal blog http://laurabzowy.wordpress.com
And am in the works of planning a new blog along the lines of CFS Squared, but a little more broad.
Hope you are all doing well!
Laura (the former writer of CFS Squared!)
I have a question in regards to a Snoopy Flannel print that you wrote about using to make pajamas…Was it blue cammo background and did it say World Wide Flying Ace?…If so, do you have anymore? You would save Christmas, I will pay almost any amount…if you can help please email me, if you can’t Thank You still.
Emily
I’ve been reading your old blog posts and just wanted to wish you a belated thank you for all your words! Just an FYI for anyone else getting to the end f your posts, the CFS info at Women to Women is pretty good — here’s the link: “Why am I so tired all the time?”