The “Texas Penicillin” – a concoction to cure the common cold (?)

Zen Wizard, who’s very name makes you believe he is a genius at something, provides his tested cure to the common cold, or the rare case of stomach flu that he got.

Read here at your own risk. Gulp down at your own risk.

At the first sign of a cold:

1) Wash down 2000 mg. of garlic and 1500 mg Vitamin C, with 2 quarts of Sunsweet “pulp” prune juice.

2) Dice 2 fresh onions and 1.5 oz. fresh jalapeno pepper. Heat 2 cans of Hormel “Turkey with Beans” chili.

As it simmers, add the onions and jalapenos. Add five dashes of Texas Pete Hot Sauce.

Cool down just until it won’t burn your mouth, then wolf that stuff down as fast as you can!

Tip: Hold your nose if you start hurling. The hurt you are feelin’ is nothing compared to what those little flu viruses are going through right now, which is a slow painful death by napalm.

3) Buy 2 four-ounce tubes of Ben Gay® from Walmart, with a half-dozen pairs of athletic socks.

Slather your feet with Ben Gay® and place them in two pairs of the athletic socks.

Your feet usually get cold when you have the flu. They won’t now!!!

Plus, make sure you don’t get odor-free Ben Gay®. Part of the “cure” (*) is breathing in the menthol.

4) Stay in bed for 72-hours, drinking plenty of fluids, and getting at least 20-minutes of fresh air a day.

5) Not only will this “cure” the common cold, I can almost guarantee that Steps 1-4 will innoculate you against the same strain of virus way up until the next flu season (*)!!

Good luck, and good health!!

[Source: Zen Wizard; and if anyone dares to drink this poison, you did not read it from me]

Tags: Texas Penicillin, Zen Wizard, cure, common cold