The traditional grandparent role
Has the traditional role of the grandparent gone by the wayside?
An interesting article on Human Events.com makes the case for reviving the role of grandparents.
The author compares the traditional grandparent to that of an advisor or a Board of Directors, someone who provide direction and counsel rather than manage day to day activities.
It goes on to day that current societal changes have necessitated a more direct involvement for grandparents at the expense of their traditional role:
Unfortunately, in many cases in today’s society, the role of Grandparents has evolved into that of a surrogate parent. Whether because of necessity (single parent homes and homes with two working parents are at an all-time high) or desire (many grandparents today worry that their children aren’t parenting properly), more grandparents than ever before are losing their role as mentor, friend, supporter, and spoiler and becoming more like a parent — a disciplinarian, decision-maker, and even a bread-winner.
The author believes that children suffer because of this, and, that they need to have more than one type of relationship with an adult:
They come to know adults as authoritative, stressed, busy, and mean. When grandparents are involved however, kids experience an entirely different child-adult relationship.
Additionally, the author emphasizes that in order for a grandparent to maintain a traditional role with grandkids, the grandparent must keep up with technology and the things that interest kids.
I guess that’s one reason the Nintendo Wii is popular with seniors. It’s “for the grandkids”, right?
I was lucky enough to have grandparents who were there to love and spoil me, and, my kids have had that, too.
However, I realize that it’s a luxury, and, sometimes we have to do what we have to do, but, I can still wish for a loving grandparent or grandparental figure for every child, can’t I?
It’s weird. After my mother died, I think I tried to take on the grandmother role with nieces.
Now I’m just the aunt, and it took some hard knocks to get to that was okay.
And we are digging the Wii.
Together.
Although it’s hard work.
This has really been on my mind lately since both Grandma’s have passed away. I had that relationship with my grandparents and before my Mom and my MIL passed away, they were the queen’s of spoiling the grandkids.
Now, my Dad isn’t in the greatest of health but when he is here, he does his part.
My FIL on the other hand has really really disappointed me. He has been in a long term relationship with a woman who has no kids of her own and we thought, this is perfect but unfortunately, she likes him to herself and doesn’t seem willing to spend more than an hour or so with the kids before she wants to go home. He used to be of total spoiling variety (i.e. staying up really late and eating ice cream before dinner) and now he lets her call the shots and we very rarely see him anymore much less them getting to hang out with him for some much needed spoiling and the relationship between him and the kids has totally changed and that makes me so very very sad because for all the loss my kids have had in their short lives, they deserve to have that special relationship.
Sorry to go on and on, this is obviously something that is really bothering me.