The Traditions – Lost
April 1, 2007 by Mark
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
I’m not looking to be thought of as a purist because that would feel too much like perfectionism, to me. Yet I feel I want to be representative of the principle, not idealistically but realistically, of singleness of purpose in recovery. The fact that AA (and its “sister” 12 Step programs) has staunchly stuck to a singleness of purpose no doubt has continued to save innumerable lives and be largely responsible for bringing back many from a hopeless state of body and mind.
There are those who may be ignorant of, not too mindful of, or belligerently opposed to, the Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. Whichever it may be, this is wrong. And more of “us” ought to seriously consider losing whatever fear we have of calling this stuff for what it is – grandiosity, self-centeredness, self-serving, destructive and other negative, non-productive descriptions.
The Third Tradition;
“The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.”
The Tenth Tradition;
“Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.”
The Third Tradition of A.A. does not say: “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using.” The Third Tradition of Narcotics Anonymous says that!
No opinion on outside issues? Well, drug use and recovery from addiction is covered by Narcotics Anonymous, thankfully! It is an outside issue for A.A. Therefore, no opinion!
So, if you have a need to say “I also will use and interchange Alcohol and Drugs for one in the same during this series because they are the same” you dam* well ought to offer a disclaimer that you are expressing your personal opinion, not the opinion of A.A. Alcohol and drugs are not the same! I say that from personal experience and it is my personal opinion! If you’re a newcomer to recovery please, do not be misled by statements like these.
Additionally, be forewarned that the principle of anonymity is “the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” If you’ve come across someone who has, for whatever reason, offered up a full name on the Internet of someone in recovery or involved with recovery, with no permission to back it up, be wary! If you’re the person who did that – fix it as soon as possible or get permission from the person you’ve exposed and add it, with some level of proof. You obviously have no clue what harm you may have caused by this type of old behavior.
In the interest of perpetuating our Twelve Traditions, I’d ask you all to review the Traditions Checklist.
I have always interpreted the 3 rd tradition by reading the words pretty literally with no embellishment. If I am an drug addict who drinks and I “want to stop drinking”, I believe I have earned my seat in an AA meeting, whether alcohol is my primary drug of choice or not. Things have changed in 70 years, the ‘pure’ alcoholic is becoming more and more rare as people tend toward multiple drugs of choice.
Good blog, I like a person with strong views,
Bill
Hi Bill,
Thanks for stopping by…
Agreed!
And… thanks for the compliment
Wow! This is right in-line with what I’ve been working on lately. I’ll share some:
Recently, my first sponsor of 15 years took the 13th step and graduated to the big meeting. (the older timers used to use the 13th step to mean they died). At the funeral, there were over at least 50 people I hadn’t seen in over 15 years. Almost all of them still sober but hardly any of them had darkened the door of an A.A. meeting in at least 10 years. I asked myself “Where have all you people been all this time?!” I’ve seen meetings here lately where there might be 6 people… and all of them have a piece of paper to sign. Whats happened to the 50 or 60 that used to show up? the ones that had about 10 or 12 years of sobriety” …
That’s when it hit me. “I’ve Found all those old-timers!”.
I spent a few years in AA and after a while, life started getting better. I got a job and better job. I got a car and then a better car. Things were going great. Then as I began to enjoy the fruits of sobriety … life … I put AA on the back burner. I never bothered studying the traditions because that was for the “old-timers”. I thought after you worked the steps, then you studied the traditions. I knew the old timers were telling me I should be trying to “give it away so I could keep it”, but John Barleycorn just didn’t seem to be bothering me at all. The obsession to drink had been removed. Besides, AA was there for me when I got there and it would be there for the New Man when gets there too.
Fast forward 5 or 6 years.
I step into the old club. Only 6 people there. All of them are court ordered. The chairperson for this meeting must have had something come up because he didn’t bother to show. The club has a requirement of 6 months continuous sobriety before you can chair a meeting. I wonder to myself: “What would these folks have done if I hadn’t showed up?”. I knew none of them had any sobriety at all. I assumed the chair person role of the meeting because I met the requirements and as I started hearing the introductions I wondered how I was going to conduct this meeting. “Should I call on all six of these people?”…”What are they going to share?”…”Do they know about enough about AA to share?”…I wondered where had all those old timers gone to.
Early in my sobriety, I belonged to a group of people that were really interested in “hanging-out” after the meetings. We made sure we scooped up the new guys and took them for coffee. Sometimes we would just hang out at someone’s house or apartment. There was a ton of fellowship and lots of talk about the twelve steps and what life was like now that we’re all sober. Most of us younger folks would show up whenever we got there.(Most often 10 or 15 minutes after the meeting started). The crusty old-timers would gripe, but we couldn’t see how “showing up on time” was going to improve the quality of our sobriety so we came in that much later at the next meeting. Soon those crusty old-timers just quit coming around and we pretty well had free run of the place. Say what we want in a meeting, do what we want in a meeting, show up when we want or if we want to at all. It was a lot of fun but looking back, the club was in a full-speed nose-dive. .. And I was on the front line.
That’s how the Traditions were lost at the place I got sober.
I’d love to tell you about what we’re doing to nurture and tend to the new life that is finally starting to grow back there, but this post is already insanely long.
Thanks Mark! Again, I love this blog…
John
Those old-timers that used to come around just don’t come around anymore. Some are dead and gone. Some just have thier reasons for not being there. A.A. can’t count on them ever coming back.
When the Traditions go, so do the Leaders. I can guarantee that if anyone is interested in taking a leadership position in my neck of the woods, all they have to do is study the Traditions a little bit. In the Twelve and Twelve forward Bill mentions something close to: AA’s twelve steps are a set of principles, spiritual in nature, that if practiced as a way of life will render the user happily and usefully whole. He also mentions this in his talk on Traditions. He goes on to say somewhat: The Traditions are the Application of those principles.
What does that last thing mean? It means quite simply… if you don’t know the Traditions, how do you know if you’re working the Twelve Steps?
Good to see you again John!
Thanks!
Quite a bit to read and consider but the first read was wonderful and you may have provoked the emotions to want to post more… thanks again.
right on “OK” whats up ya all? yea i m back , whats with the alky being told its not a good idea to work 2 weeks after , and then the alky saying to himself me? ive got to work . boy im paying for it now . feeling good and still smoke free.
Mark we had snow today !! just loving it :0
erm… let me see… Mike? Mike P.? Oh yeah… that’s right… he’s the guy what had a heart attack and then imposed his will on it and went back to work two weeks later… yeah, I remember him… going back to work didn’t quite work but, then again, what would faith have done for him? Pay his bills? Naaah. Put food on his families’ table? Naaah. All that other stuff??? Naaah. Naaah. Naaah.
OH!!! Hey Mike!!! Wassup??? Snow eh? lmao!!! Good to hear you’re still smoke free! That’ll help while your workin’! You know – more breath and such… tired less and such… I mean, after two weeks away from smokarettes you’ve got to be cured by now, right?
KNOTHEAD! But… remember – if I spot it, I got it…
Love ya’ too – M
well look who glad to see me ! It was one week not two and yes not smoking I do get the job done quicker , and with the money I can afford my RX and all that good stuff like food and gas good GOD 3.09 a gallon,
Cured no “recovered” LMAO
The smokes went the way of the drink no desire today to die ya know ,
I realized that if old timers like us still make meetings there’s no need for this thing to die as mentioned above , we give it back the way it was given to us that seems to work ya think?
As long as I remember “I’m responsabile anywhere anytime ,,,,
See ya soon
Mike P