The Unsent Letter
October 24, 2005 by Heather Goldsmith
Filed under Home & Living
Another technique to use for personal journal writing is the unsent letter. This is a powerful tool to unload the weight of guilt, withheld emotion, deep-seated anger and many other troubles we carry in our lives. Just as you would sit and write a letter to a friend or a loved one, with this technique all you need do is address the person you have in mind.
Write their name at the top of the page, Dear .., and begin telling them the things you never could when face to face. It doesn’t matter if the person you’re addressing is actually no longer alive. I’ve found these kinds of unsent letters to be the most liberating.
The unsent part is important, too. If your letter is to someone who is in fact still living, chances are you do not want them to see what youve written, at this time. Writing the letter might be a good way to sort through your feelings towards them, or how you might later speak with them. The letter is one way of addressing what is the important part of your concern.
Several years ago I wrote an unsent letter to my father who, at the time, had been dead for some twelve years. Giving voice to the emotions I’d long suppressed released something inside me. I was able to grow out of that unsent letter writing experience. The fact I had it published multiple times just shows that several people felt the same way I did about my father.
I hope you will take the time to try this technique in your own journal writing time, too.
i have a lot of unsent letter too!
) written in some notebook.
Hi again Glo,
Yes, unsent letters are an excellent way to use your journal.
now i regret having thrown away dozens of unsent letters i wrote as a child/teen/young adult — it’d be a great way to look back now, but when i threw them away i thought it best to get rid of the "junk" in my life.
Hi Stef,
Sometimes it is best to get rid of junk in that way. But you can always write new unsent letters to replace those you threw away.
I think the “Unsent Letter” concept is a great idea. I have a letter here in my position I wrote back on June 2, 1996 to a girl I met at a friends’ cottage.
I haven’t seen her since and greatly doubt I ever will, but by writing the four page letter I wrote, I at least got off my chest the feelings I have held for so long. Perhaps we hold our real feelings back for far too long?
Hi Brian,
Yes, I think the purpose of getting things off your chest is what the unsent letter is essentially about. Thanks for sharing how this journal writing technique worked so well for you.
Great article! I recently started a blog for people to submit their unsent letters, it is such a nice feeling to get that release! I am working on one to my mom right now, it is hard to write though…
Thanks!