This Boy’s No Burden: Off to Blogher
July 18, 2008 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
I’m speaking at the 2008 BlogHer conference in San Francisco, on a panel called MommyBlogging: Blogging About Our Children with Special Needs and with some other more than noteworthy mother-blogger-writers:
If parenting in general can be isolating, it can be more so when raising a child with special needs. Susan Etlinger, Shannon Des Roches Rosa aka Squid Rosenberg, Kristina Chew, Jennifer Graf Groneberg and Vicki Forman are among those MommyBloggers who are blogging their experiences…and finding both a community…and a cause. Join them. Share your story. Find out how, to quote Vicki, “…to embrace and treasure what makes us all different. And the same.”
The panel is this Saturday, July 19, 1:45-3:00 pm; heartfelt and lively discussion expected.
As noted, the BlogHer conference is in San Francisco and I, as you know, live in New Jersey. I’m flying out Friday morning and taking a red-eye on Saturday night so I’ll be back at Newark Airport around 6.30am Sunday.
I did go to an academic conference in Atlanta last November; I stayed over one night and made sure that my parents were visiting. This time I’m going to be gone for two full nights—-I haven’t been away that long from Jim and Charlie for four years, since 2004. Actually, though I bought my ticket a while ago (mindful of fast-rising airplane ticket prices), I wasn’t sure until this week that I was going to go at all.
Jim, as I’ve mentioned a bit, injured his back very badly while giving Charlie a piggy back ride at the end of May. Jim’s been in pain more or less ever since, sometimes excruciating. For the first couple of weeks, he couldn’t walk more than a few steps and it’s been a long stream of visits to doctors and the orthopedic surgeon. He has a herniated disc—some serious measures are being discussed—-the days of piggy-backing Charlie are completely over. By some great grace, Jim is able to ride his bike and somehow that motion is soothing to his back and leg, so he and Charlie have still been able to go on their journeys around town. Jim’s been able to walk more in the past week and things have been looking much more hopeful.
We’ve both wanted to carry Charlie as long as we could, as if—so long as we knew we could swoop him up into our arms or on our backs—we’d be able to protect him and keep him safe. I stopped carrying Charlie when he was turning 8 and he was on the verge of being able to look eye to eye with me; I still have the muscle in my left arm from years of holding him, supported on my hip as he smooshed his face into my upper arm and shoulder. Jim, being much taller and stronger, has been carrying Charlie longer, but no more. From here on in, he has to walk on his own two feet.
Scary, the thought.
Inevitable, though.
We’ve both been thinking even harder then ever about the realities of Charlie growing up. The challenges ahead often seem greater than if we were to try to scale Mt. Everest. But the fact that I’m going to San Francisco, and that Charlie’s doing so well at school and has shown so much understanding about Jim’s injury—getting himself out of bed without much cajoling to go to school, looking extra serious when I’ve explain that “Dad has to go the doctor right now”—-that I think we’ll be able to keep moving forward (if a bit more slowly; there is no rush); that we’ll be able to keep walking the long road with Charlie. He’s never, ever, a burden and now, indeed, he’s begun to take up his share of the load.
And hope very much—very, very much—- to meet you if you’ll be at the conference.
Kristina, I can’t wait to meet you in SF! Safe travels…
Lovely post, by the way.
Kristina, bon voyage! I am so envious! Please say hi to the panel of fertility bloggers while you are there.
And thank you for sharing this beautiful post.
Charlie is certainly growing and maturing quite a bit of late!
Have a wonderful time in SF; wish I could be there.
All human appreciate being needed. It is flattering to think that we have anything at all to contribute. Working directly with adults who have cognitive disabilites taught me that it is powerful for the tables to turn when the person being assisted becomes the helper. Charlie must feel proud to have more grown up expectations placed on him and to rise to the occasion.
Piggybacks for an 11 year old boy? It is understandabe to wish to prolong childhood but really…11 years old? The bike replaces the back as it should. Hope your husband continues on the road of no pain and best wishes to you for a weekend of none interrupted adult conversations!
If I have my timetables right, you are in transit–so safe voyages and a good conference, while your men hold down the fort.
I’m sorry sbout Jim’s back and wish him a good recovery; It’s a change for everyone, but Charlie sounds like he is stepping up. And it is kind of scary and cool to see the kids grow up with the usual “where did the time go?” feelings.
‘Good trip.
I will be in SF on Saturday, but unfortunately, I have a prior commitment. I would have loved to see you speak and perhaps say hello, but it’s not in the cards. Have a great trip, the weather is perfect right now, definitely the best time to be in the bay area.
Thanks for representing us, you do an unbelievable job. I am so glad I discovered your blog.
And Charlie knows Mommy always comes back. It will be worth it to see the joy on his face when you return.
From this post, and the recent one about french fries…I deduce that potatoes are the secret cause of tallness.
I will probably win awards for this insight.
My plan is to attend the conference vicariously through your posts. Hope it’s fun for you (and, by extension, me).
If your session or any of the sessions are going to be taped, I’d love to see the presentations?
Have fun!
I sure hope Jim’s back pain gets better soon. Back pain is the worst.
Have a great time!
Glad to hear Jim’s back is improving abit.
I think our session might be recorded—will let you know. Thank you much much much for the good wishes, all gladly conveyed!
I wish I’d paid more attention to the BlogHer panels, if I’d seen yours I might have been able to talk myself, my DH and my bank account into making the trip! Have another one in NYC won’t ya??