Tips for Coping with Fertility Problems
May 8, 2008 by Gabrielle
Filed under Diseases & Conditions
This email alert had perfect timing. Just when I was getting down, down, down about the state of affairs down there, I got a link to one of BabyCenter’s (yeah, I subscribe, so what?) newest articles: Therapists’ Top Ten Tips for Coping with Fertility Problems. This is my favorite piece of advice:
Don’t blame yourself. Resist the temptation to get angry at yourself or to listen to the little voice in your head that’s saying, “I shouldn’t have waited; I’m being punished for having that abortion; I should have lost more weight or taken better care of my health; I shouldn’t have assumed that I could have children when I wanted” or whatever negative thoughts you may be having.
People can get caught in negative thinking patterns that only make matters worse, says Yakov M. Epstein, a psychologist at Rutgers University and co-author of Getting Pregnant When You Thought You Couldn’t: “Instead of berating yourself, look forward to how you and your partner are going to manage the situation.”
When you start feeling like you “should have” or “could have,” remind yourself that your fertility problem is not your fault. Even if you could have made different decisions in the past, they’re behind you. Concentrate on your future.
Word.
The last time I visited my acupuncturist, visits I now look forward to instead of fear, she took my pulse and asked me a very basic question,
“Are you angry?”
Um, at who?
“Um, yourself? About all of this?”
I don’t think so.
“Your body says differently. Why don’t we work on that today?”
So I got a little reiki, and a special little needle right near my solar plexus, which is supposed to open up my ability to grieve.
I didn’t think I was angry with myself, rather, the results of our last two attempts. But hearts don’t lie.
When I was in a mind/body program during my successful cycle, the therapists told us to “Stop “shoulding” all over ourselves.” Good advise. I also try (when it comes to IF only) to live so that I can never look back and say, “I should have…” Questioning drinking that glass of wine three weeks before my cycle? Hmmm…if my cycle fails, will I blame myself and say, “I shouldn’t have had that wine…” Well, no, but that’s just an example. You get it.
Now I am totally curious about your mind/body program. Tell me more! Do you think it was a strong contributing factor to your success? Did you feel a difference in your frame of mind and your bodily wellness? In short, do you think it worked?