Tips for dealing with temper tantrums
October 20, 2009 by Jennifer Walker-Journey
Filed under Parenting
My friend Wendi sent me this “Mother of the Year” YouTube clip (a commercial for Vicks First Defence (sic) nose spray) with the message, “Didn’t you do this with Truman once?” I’ll make no claims about the product (though I wish I had known to try it as I’m finally getting over a cold), but I will say this about the ad – ingenious!
Truth be told, I have reacted that way to my son’s temper tantrums. Just not in public. While “Mother of the Year” may be expressing how you feel when your child’s temper erupts, child expert, author, speaker and educational consultant Dr. Michelle Borba has some better solutions. Here are a few from her book Parents Do Make A Difference! How to Raise Kids with Solid Character, Strong Minds and Caring Hearts:
1. Model calmness. Parents who stay calm in heated situations pass that train on to their children.
2. Develop a feeling vocabulary. Give your child another way to express his frustrations than by hitting or throwing things. Encourage him to use words to express his anger.
3. Teach your child to establish a “calm down” activity. Take a deep breath, go for a walk, sing – whatever it takes, help your child to return to that activity when his temper begins to flare up.
4. Identify early warning signs. We all have signs that warn us when we’re getting upset – raised voices, stomping, red face. When your child starts to exhibit these signs, point them out to him. This is the best time for him to get control of his anger before it gets out of control.
Video, YouTube, timetravelmachine
I love it! LOVE IT! You go, Mom!
Capra, thank goodness, has rarely had tantrums. She started having a bit of a fit Monday when I told her we couldn’t go to the park after gymnastics (at 7, she doesn’t throw herself down on the floor, but she does pout, whine, and stomp her feet). I have to admit, being stressed out and unhappy myself that I had tons more work to do at 4:30 in the afternoon, I pretty much matched her and told her in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t always get what she wants, and that I certainly wasn’t getting what I wanted at that moment! She straightened up. No more fit.