Tips on Handling Arguments

In every relationship, I reckon one of the things you have to do as a couple is to find a common ground where you practice or apply leveled expectations. Arguments usually arise when one or both parties refuse to move to accommodate the other’s needs. Er, well — among other things.

Here’s what I think.

There are some key things that we need to concern ourselves to find a solution to any problem. One of them is to find a way to compromise.

Communicate. I’ve said it before. Communication between two people is important. You have to find a way to establish the right manner of talking to each other. Is it vital that you guys talk in person? Is talking on the phone enough? Or perhaps it’s better if the two of you resort to writing your feelings down on parchment or email?

Space. It’s a cliche but, heck, it works. Give each other the space you guys need in order to sort things out. Just be sure you do spend time thinking about ways to identify the problem and not dwell on finding the person to blame.

Introspect. This happens when you’re in your own space. I recommend that you take a look at yourself and how your attitude towards the relationship is affecting it. It’s a step towards finding a solution.

Breathe. I know it sounds a bit silly but I really suggest that you have to set a portion of your time and focus on just breathing. It will help pacify any turmoil you may be feeling when you and your partner are in a fight.

Cry. It’s alright, you know — crying, I mean. It will help ease off the emotional load. It can take some of the anger away. Aside from it being physically good for you, it can help level, somehow, the stress on your emotions and psyche. Don’t quote me on this, though.

I’ve observed that usually problems occur when both individuals are stressed. Also, when the issue is quite serious, it will take time before a solution is made. Expecting things to be fine after talking-slash-arguing for an hour or two is not healthy. It may take a certain amount of tinkering to make things work smoothly again.

Of course, it also happens that old issues re-surface during arguments especially when it wasn’t resolved properly the first time. So, expecting that it will NOT be raised is close to being silly.

Bottomline, before you enter into an argument, make the decision on whether you wish to work it out or not, it will help you direct how it will end. You have to be patient, too. Also, you’ve got to practice some sort of humility so you can actually patch things up and be able to apologise. Remember both of you are at fault, otherwise, there wouldn’t be any friction in the first place.

Anyway, what’s the worse thing that can happen? You’ll probably just head on your separate ways. A good choice for couples who can’t settle on a solution no matter how much they argue. It’s total bullocks to stay in that relationship me thinks.

Feel free to share if you have other tips, which you think I should have included in this post. Your thoughts can help the other readers.