Traveling Without Your Child—Still Not So Easy
August 16, 2008 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
This summer has seen its share of discussion of the challenges of traveling with special needs children (on airplanes, in particular); more recently, there’s been discussion of traveling with autism assistance dogs, too. The August 12th International Herald Tribune describes the difficulties of caring for a special needs child when you, the parent, have to travel for work.
Some special needs children cannot understand that a parent is away. “When you have a child who doesn’t speak, I can’t explain anything,” said Candi Nichols Carter, a television producer in Chicago, and the creator of the children’s entertainment company It’s Hip Hop, Baby! “I had to go to Vegas for four days to work on a show,” she said. “I can’t explain that to him, that ‘Mommy’s going to be gone for four days.’ The next day, he wakes up and his mother is just gone. It’s got to be traumatizing.”
Nichols Carter’s 5-year-old child, Emerson, presents a multitude of challenges. In an e-mail message, Nichols Carter wrote: “Emerson is a child with a mental disability. We found out a year and a half into his life that he was born with a chromosome abnormality. As a result he had many physical problems early on and currently struggles with a severe speech delay.”
Jim or I traveling for work occurs pretty infrequently. We try to only go to conferences that are close enough to travel to and return from within one day. I make visual and picture schedules for Charlie, talk succinctly and straightforwardly about us leaving and returning, and make sure there are lots of activities to keep Charlie occupied. I also try (if we’re gone for a longer period of time, which is a very rare occurrence, as in it hasn’t happened for quite awhile) to have my parents come out from California. Charlie’s medical needs are nothing too unusual—he needs to take his medications at certain times and it’s essential that whoever is taking care of him know how to help him stay calm and allay his anxiety.
Fortunately both of us don’t have to travel much for work, just the regular rigors of the daily car-and-train-and-subway commute.
I saw this article yesterday (NYT online, ran it too, I think) and have been thinking about it ever since. I am going out of town for a couple of days on Monday and don’t know how Nik will handle it. He’s not quite up to the picture schedule stage and doesn’t have a concept of time. I worry that he will freak out when he wakes up and I am not here.
I’ve left Charlie with photos; even more, he’s been very interested in having a piece of my clothing or of Jim’s when we are gone—often buries his face into these. And a friend whose son is special needs but not autistic told me that when she was gone her son insisted on keeping her pink bathrobe with him (to the point of wearing it at times)—-what comforts Charlie is not often what I think might be comforting!
Have a really good trip and (ha, I can’t do it all), enjoy the time for yourself!
Hi, I was told to contact Kristina or Kev here…
Please help an autistic child who is being retained, and forced to repeat 4K, even though he passed, because his birthday falls 24 days late.
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/due-to-being-born-24-days-late-autistic-child-must-repeat-4k That is the petition site to sign.
If you have any questions, or want the full story, I am putting up a website hopefully this weekend
http://www.pcveracity.us
Or call me,
I’m the mother of the child this is being forced upon.
850-381-9844
Honestly, you’re my greatest hope for help. I’ve heard wonderful things about you, both from locals who know you personally, and in regards to both autism and education.
Thank you for your time,
Geneva Robinson
Panama City and Chipley, Fl.
Its not just traveling, but anytime you go away. I just spent time in the hospital for the birth of my daughter; and though the c section was very difficult, I came home after only one day because both L and K were not handling me being gone very well. My mom stayed with them, we had her come and stay over several nights before so the guys were familiar with her being here, and Jeff stayed at home at night and most of the afternoon rather than being at the hospital. We talked and showed pictures and did everything we could think of to prepare the boys, but when K stopped talking after me being gone only one day, at 2 and 1/2 he has only been talking 8 months or so, I decided to come home. It still hurts me that I can’t pick up either boy yet, too much surgery pain, but at least I am around. We are slowly working on getting back to normal around here, but normal has changed now that L and K have a baby sister.
At least K started jabbering as soon as I got home!
I would think that if this mother is in entertainment that she can make some video of herself showing her on a trip and coming back, where she is, etc so that this is used for future trips. There are talking photo albums that might work well too. Now off to read article
This seemed to fall under travel, and might give someone a $ break on vacation if camping or recreation venues are on the agenda–Not necessarily easier, but maybe a little cheaper.
The Access Pass< from the Federal Government that allows free access to recreation areas managed by the Bureau of Land Management, Bureau of Reclamation, Fish and Wildlife Service, USDA Forest Service and National Park Service.
” What is the Access Pass?
A free, lifetime pass – available to U.S. citizens or permanent residents of the United States [and their caregivers if the passholder is a minor child--see specific information] that have been medically determined to have a permanent disability – that provides access to recreation areas managed by five Federal agencies.
The Access Pass also provides the pass owner a discount on some Expanded Amenity Fees (see question #1 in Access Pass Benefits section)…”