Treat Me Right
April 19, 2009 by Michelle Smith
Filed under Relationships
I found this column today written by Blane Bachelor in The Sunday Paper. She gives relationship advice in an honest, straight-forward manner, while also mentioning Miss Piggy and her love for Kermit. Fantastic. I enjoy any and all references to Miss P.
One of her readers wrote to her about a dating situation where she’s seeing a young man that she calls “Rebound Boy,” and how yes, the sex is great, but he’s unattractive to her and acts as if they are not together in public. What is the problem, you ask? Well, it’s all right there, isn’t it? He’s not attractive to her and he is embarrassed about being seen with her.
Why are we so afraid of being alone that we will put up with being with someone bad just because he’s a warm body next to us, especially when he’s not next to us? What is so bad about being single, being independent, calling all the shots? 
Why waste our time on the wrong one? How are we supposed to meet the right one that way?
I, for one, am not doing it anymore. A little compromise is good, imperative, even, but being treated with anything less than respect is something that I will no longer tolerate.
And if any of my girlfriends are reading this and you notice that I’m doing it again, going along with less than loving treatment, please call me on it. Please.
I was talking to a nice lady yesterday. Someone who had previously been portrayed as a someone very different to me. She’s found herself in this painful situation for too long and it’s even more painful because there is a child involved.
What is wrong with some men? What are they looking for? What hole inside themselves are they feeling up with bitterness and ugly nasty feelings like guilt and deceit? Wouldn’t loving a woman like she deserves to be loved be a better way to make a guy feel like a Big Man?
Yeah, this is corny, but I’m offering all you ladies out there a great big cyber hug. Examine your situation and if it’s hurting you more than making you happy, rethink it. You are not stuck. You are not stupid. And it is definitely not all your fault.
Hold onto the hope that there’s something bigger and better out there for you.
Image credit: All Posters.com
Unfortunately, I was there too. YEARS ago…and since have realized – after many years in a good, loving relationship – that it’s WAY better to be alone than to be with an a**hole who doesn’t really give a crap about you. And to all the girls who are in that situation now, RUN. RUN LIKE THE WIND away from him. Not only are you cheating yourself out of being truly loved, but maybe you’re missing that one guy who is THE one.
P.S. I’ve got your back, Michelle. But I think, so far, you’re on the right track with this one.
Thanks Leah. If you seem in trouble again, though, don’t hold back, please.
Hi there. Tried to post earlier but it didn’t go through. Just wanted to say thanks for the plug, Michelle! Anyone who wants more of my kind of advice, please sign up for my weekly column, delivered hot, fresh and free right to your inbox. Sign up at http://www.askabachelor.com.
Thanks again and cheers to all the fellow Muppet fans out there.
Blane, I very much enjoyed your column. I went right over there and signed up.
I totally agree, which is why I have now been single for 2 years. I refuse to put up with any crap. That having been said, being single for 2 years is why there are days I wonder if it might just be worth putting up with a little bs to have a warm body in my bed. Surely not someone I wasn’t attracted to or who didn’t want to be seen in public with me (OUCH!), but maybe someone I wouldn’t see myself dating long-term………after all this time it doesn’t really sound horrible.
Barista, I read your comment three times. I get the impression that something hurtful must have happened and that’s why you are no longer dating. The whole warm body thing doesn’t really work for most women. It’s a great theory and something that I’ve tried myself, but it can be somewhat hollow in practice. Maybe when you are young, but at a certain point, I think we are just looking for something more and if there is not a connection of some sort there, there’s a chance you will feel more alone than ever.
I think it’s wise to wait, to give yourself a break, which is very hard for some people. If it doesn’t sound too horrible, maybe it’s time to give it some thought again. There are some good guys out there. They aren’t all already taken.
You can still have your no BS attitude, which is a good one, and one that is advocated by the whole He’s Just Not That Into You school of though. Be smart, but be open. Good luck!
I couldn’t agree with you more. Why do we settle for someone who treats us like crap. Noone deserves to be hidden away. Good enough to be in bed with but not good enough to be seen with in public. Women try to be fixers of sort. We want to just love somebody and make it all right for them. News flash to me–when I finally realized that no matter how much you give to a person if they are not into you it will not make it right. If you are alone and wanting to settle I say go buy a puppy if you do not have kids to smother with all your love. At least a dog is always there for you and loves you no matter what you do.