True Love Arranged

Did you see 20/20 about the book Why Him?/Why Her? by Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist?

My husband, Jeremy and I agree, now that we’re out of the insanity of the hormone-driven mating phase that it’s communication skills and not passion or spark that keep a marriage together.

We found it interesting that 60% of the people in the world are in arranged marriages. And the success-rate is quite high in that few arranged marriages end in divorce. (Only 5-7% divorce in India.)

We think it’s because when it comes right down to it, what you really want in a mate CAN be put in a classified ad. I want someone who files stuff, keeps on track, does dishes, manages the children, makes a decent living and I got all that, so I’m one lucky woman. But, I’d put VERBALLY Expressive and Physically Affectionate at the top of that classified ad if I had it to do over again. He faked me out with all the hormone-driven mating passion in the beginning. I just wasn’t prepared for the silence.

For our date night we sat side-by-side with our laptops and took the test to determining which of the four biological types were are: Explorer, Builder, Negotiator or Director.

I’m a Negotiator/Explorer and need a Director/Explorer.

He’s a Builder/Director and needs a Builder/Negotiator.

See, so we’re not the ideal match. But, it’s what you get when you have a whorl-wind romance and move to NYC for romance and adventure and then rush headlong and insanely into marriage and immediately take on parenthood.

But, It’s working out since we started learning some skills.

Besides, we learned tonight that we’d both be into adopting a kid while we are taking the quiz.

Me, cause I like the idea of big families, but I’m 35 and not into being pregnant, breast-feeding or caring for an infant anymore. (And there’s the vasectomy.)

He, because he was really upset about that slavery story we talked about a while back and was intrigued by my idea that we couldn’t save the whole world (we hate that limitation) – but we could save somebody. We could save one slave and raise them as our kid for $50. I like that he’s still thinking about that.

Take the quiz.