Tween Dating
When my fifteen-year-old was in eighth grade he went on his first date. And I began to hyperventilate. He and his date went to the ice skating rink for a few hours with his date’s mom. It was all very innocent. However, the relationship didn’t really pan out. My son only liked the girl as a friend.
Other than dancing with girls at school dances, my teens really haven’t dated much. And I think I’m ok with that. I’m dreading the day when one of them is in a serious relationship and I have to figure out how to spy on them without getting caught. Um…I mean trust them with their girlfriends.
After reading an article in the Washington Times on tween dating, I’m not sure I’ll ever be comfortable about my kids dating, According to the article, 1,043 tweens (ages 11 to 14) were interviewed and 30% believe oral sex and sexual intercourse are part of a relationship. Whatever happened to just holding hands between classes and passing notes in class?
Another disturbing trend in young relationships is violence. Hundreds of the tweens polled say they have been harassed or controlled by their partner. 62 percent reported they had friends who had been called degraded and called names by their partner. More than a third have friends who have done things they didn’t want to under pressure from their partner.
We have always taught our kids to be polite and respectful and I think we’ve done a good job with those lessons. But I never really thought about sitting them down and telling them how to be a good partner in a relationship. We’ve had some conversations about toxic friends, but I don’t think we’ve talked about toxic “love” relationships.
Today’s music, television and movies often shows a woman being dominated by a man. They grow up thinking it’s cool to call a girl a “bitch” or telling her she’s fat. When the relationship fails, kids may take out their aggression on their former partner; spreading rumors, calling them names or worse. We really need to make sure our kids know how to treat each other with love and understanding and know how to end relationships with grace and pride.
