Warning Signs on Potentially Abusive Relationships

I came across an article about a recent stabbing incident, which led to the death of Demi Cuccia, caused by an alleged possessive boyfriend John Mullarkey.

It aimed to help open the reader’s eyes to several warning signs on potentially abusive relationships.

Despite the ambiguity, therapists yesterday said there are certain traits that are at least indicators of something potentially harmful.

These would include a person who monopolizes your time, insists you check in several times a day, is jealous, degrades you and blames you for his or her bad behavior, said Michael Barfield, executive director of Outreach Teen and Family Services in Mt. Lebanon.

Threats — or, of course, physical abuse — are glaring warning signs of something terribly amiss. “When people make threats, then the line is definitely crossed,” said Dr. Oscar Bukstein, associate professor of psychiatry at Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic.

But often a controlling mate knows how to camouflage bad behavior in front of parents and transform himself into Mr. Charm. “He is so mannerly,” Mr. Barfield said. “Johnny is so nice. When Johnny is away, he is a different person. You say, ‘How could I have not seen this?’ You are not necessarily going to see it.”

Read the article

It was advised that if parents wish to help steer their children away from such an event, it’s best if they start talking to them about these things before their children reaches the age wherein they start dating.

What if you’re way past that stage? Well, I reckon communication is still key. I’d say never give up and never put down your guard.

I can’t help but wonder just how keen my senses are in this sort of thing. Do you have your own indicators you’d like to share?