Wedding Planning Part Deux.

I’ve been having these bizarre recurring dreams about having to plan my wedding again — which MUST have something to do with having watched, for the billionth time, Charlotte get married in her $14,000 Vera Wang wedding dress on Sex and the City.

But I’ve been married for 22 years and I’ve never had this dream. Although, the fact that I was late to this nocturnal ceremony does reflect what actually happened in real life.

Maybe experts would say it has something to do with feelings of wanting start over — in order to fix past mistakes — that I’m looking for a fresh start. Or, maybe I’m feeling unsettled and weddings symbolize some kind of constancy.

I’m thinking that it’s pretty literal…I would love to plan my wedding again. The first time around was no picnic:

My father didn’t show up because he was divorcing from my mother, my sister didn’t show up because she wasn’t speaking to my mother, one of my brother’s didn’t show up because my mother wasn’t speaking to him. And my mother was so busy transitioning into divorced mom that she forgot to be bride mom.

It was an absolute mess.

That’s not to say that we didn’t have a lovely time; my husband and I looked adorable, we were just starting our careers and we were in love.

But I had no help and I didn’t know what I was doing…I was lucky to have been paying a morsel of attention to Martha Stewart and Emily Post. Who knew the etiquette of dealing with divorced parents?

There was no internet…there was nothing like The Knot or Manhattan Bride or the tons of wedding blogs out there.

We had no money, but mostly, we had no style or taste.

If it were up to me, I’d re-plan the whole thing and do my hair and make up correctly. I hope have this dream again tonight.