What Age: Kids Attending Parties Alone?
May 14, 2009 by Eliza Ferree
Filed under Family, Parenting
Okay I’ve heard of kids getting those invitations for birthday parties and such at school. Normally mine go but one of us parents have normally stuck around until the end of the party. Course mom and dads, at least in the military basically hung out with the parents in the kitchen or living room until the mom/dad hosting the party let us know that it was time. Otherwise the kids were normally on their own or with certain parents doing games.
IMG: Sxc.hu
Life outside the military seems to be a bit different, last year when I hosted a party at the house only two parents attended and the rest just sent their kids over and never showed up. I hadn’t even met these parents so they didnt know me from Jack the Ripper if ya know what I mean. But with this school year now coming to an end I’ve been approached by Soccerboy, age 12, about a “School’s Out Party” he wants to attend.
I did request a party invite as I always have, I don’t care if it is written on paper I need to know the parent is doing a party and kids aren’t just going over unannounced. I got it and he asked, “Do you guys have to show up?”
How would this make you feel? Now I know he’s getting to “that age” when kids attend parties on their own but something struck me as wrong on this. I looked at the invite and it is right after school and over before 5 pm. I do plan on calling the number at least to find out if parents will be there but thought I’d ask ya’ll….at what age do kids attend parties without their parents? Second, what age do kids have parties without an adult present?
I’ve had parents drop their kids off at my daughter’s birthday party before, and I didn’t know them from adams cat. It amazes me how parents bring their kids over to our house for a “playdate” and then don’t stick around, even for 15 minutes to get to know me a little before they blaze off.
I wouldn’t hesitate to phone the parents of the boy, you know, to say, thank them, for inviting your son to the party(instead of coming accross as checking up on him) Personally, if I don’t know my daughter’s friends parents, she doesn’t go to their houses without me. It takes a few short visits before I can size up their rules, and how they parent, before I can make a judgement call as to whether or not I feel my child will be safe in their care.
My son (he just turned 10) had a birthday party a few weeks ago at the bowling alley, and all the parents just dropped their kids off. It’s a small town, and we’re very involved so most of the parents know us, or know who we are. We had both boys and girls at the party, since some of his friends are girls.
We did have one little boy call us the morning of the party and ask for a ride. We’ve never met his parents, and when we picked him up/ dropped him off the parents weren’t home, only older siblings. So who knows if he was really supposed to go to the party:-)
Eliza, it almost doesn’t matter what other kids or parents are doing: dropping your son off at the home of strangers for a party is clearly something you’re not very comfortable with, and I think you’re right not to feel comfortable. 12 is still very young. Regardless of your son’s embarassment, why not phone the host parents and offer to help with set-up or food or games or… Like others, I’ve been amazed to have children dropped off at my son’s party with no introduction to their parents, and I’ve always appreciated the parents who at least came in to say hello, offered to help supervise, and/or were there to remind their child of their manners when it was time to leave. You’re right to be concerned that the children will be properly supervised, and to do whatever you need to do to be comfortable that your son will be safe and happy.