What Alcohol Did To Me

I invited it to do!

Okay, I know you’re a newcomer. I hear that you are still in denial, that’s right, denial. Yeah, I know that too – you did all Twelve Steps in that rehab. You’re sober…

Ratting on your disease are ya’? “Alcohol took away my house, my car, my job, blah, blah, blah.” “Alcohol cost me my marriage, my kids.” “Alcohol cost me three years behind bars.” “If it wasn’t for alcohol I’d … fill in the blank.”

That’s correct – horse feathers!!! Who are you kidding? Me? I’ve been there, done that. Perhaps you’re trying to kid John B., or JJ, or dAAve, or Mary Christine, or Gwen, or Noor, or Scout, or Trudge. Got news for ya’! They’ve been there, done that too.

You’re trying to kid yourself! Yeah, yourself. Why? Alcohol didn’t do any of that – I did and you did!

I’ll always remember one of my early, first few weeks, meetings when I so belligerently attempted to blame my father for my drinking and an oldtimer took me to task on it in front of the entire meeting. It wasn’t very hard for him either. He simply asked me if it was my father that poured the booze down my throat.

Uhhhh… no. It wasn’t my father, it was me.

I invited alcohol to do all those “things” I want to blame it for now! Blame. So I don’t have to look at me and find what is wrong with me so that it can be changed. That would take work and might just be embarrassing you know… wouldn’t want to do that.

But I am doomed to drink again if I don’t take that word “blame” out of my vocabulary, in whatever form it holds now. I drink, I die, but unfortunately I may live for a while and take some of you out with me, or take out some of my loved ones. Then I can blame alcohol again. It wasn’t me, it was alcohol.

Horsefeathers!