I’m re-reading what went on here. You twisted my words. I said “Sadly, I can’t deal with all the wrong assumptions you make and I won’t.” You even repeated that but then you say I said “But you made a point to say how ’sadly I can’t point out your WRONG assumptions.’ That is so typical of someone manipulating words to suit their own agenda! The two statements absolutely do not say the same thing! I can’t deal with it is what I said. I won’t. And now, I’m still not going to!

FYI – I apologize for my wrongdoings and other things but, in this specific situation I will not apologize for my sounding to you like I am playing God. (Yes, I’ve edited that also) That’s what you need to perceive to further your argument and I’m not willing to go along with you.

That is my boundary!

BTW – character assassination is pathetic – ‘But forgive me if you’re one of the “recovered, no more apologies required” people.’ That’s pretty sad… and… we have a step for that that I do practice.

Here’s one more – stop micro-analyzing everyone so they appear to disagree with you and then remember – if you spot it you got it, okay?

If you don’t want to go to a meeting where people are helping each other – DON”T! But don’t blame us for your troubles. We didn’t do to you what was done to you.

“Sadly, I can’t deal with all the wrong assumptions you make and I won’t.

My experience and that of many of my long-term sober friends is not the same as yours.”

You could have left it as — my experience is not the same as yours. Simply saying that. But you made a point to say how “sadly I can’t point out your WRONG assumptions.” Are you God? How can you claim that power? Conveying YOUR experience is what helps — not your judgment of the contents of my head or heart being “wrong”. Express YOUR OWN experience. Quit playing God.

This is just my personal opinion but “oldtimers” who “rip people apart” simply to offer a know-it-all image ought to be told in no uncertain terms that they are just as close as anyone else to their next drink.

Since when did oldtimers become immune to alcohol? Then gain the right to show no patience or tolerance…

Once again though, that is not crosstalk, that is an attack. We share our ESH and crosstalk is a big part of it, not attacking others.

I hope you don’t mind another comment. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with offering help. I just don’t think it’s always a good idea to allow it within the meeting. Most of the time it’s ok but I’ve seen people really ripped apart by old-timers who thought they knew everything and it’s not a pretty sight. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking about yourself, your life, your recovery. And leave the advice-giving and helpful sharing for after the meeting, or before the meeting, or during a phone call.

Thanks,
Gail

Thanks. My first thought is – how in the world does being “attacked” equate to “many of us realized that nonjudgmental suggestions we had received in meetings in response to something we had shared, was very beneficial to our recovery.”

I’ve seen attacks and they certainly have no place in recovery. But, by God, experience strength and hope most assuredly does!

Those who do the attacking are also to be spoken to outside the meeting and taught that that is wrong.

This is NOT about making anyone a public spectacle!!! Why does anyone perceive this that way???

So, we ought to stop offering help? That’s what this amounts to…

Back to the stone ages.

Thanks for letting me share,
Gail