What Do You Want?
December 10, 2007 by Kristina Chew, PhD
Filed under Health
“What would he like for Christmas?” “What can we can get him?” The relatives ask me these questions every year; every year I say, “I’ll get back to you.” “I’ll send an email.” But I already have a pretty clear idea of what Charlie will say when I ask him “what do you want?”.
Not an Xbox.
Not a Gameboy.
Not a new iPod.
Not a shiney skateboard, or something the cool kid in the class has.
If I ask Charlie what he would like, his first response will mostly be for some item of food: Charlie first learned to answer the question “what do you want,” he learned to ask mostly for food, for his favorite crackers and chips (though he rarely eats potato chips these days—I think he ate a few too many in the course of all of his speech therapy, ABA and VB sessions). And it’s likely that if I just wrapped up a pack of sushi, he would be happy enough on opening it……… What Charlie seems to want the most is nothing new and shrink-wrapped; nothing that he is going to show off to the other kids in his class. The things he wants the most are things that (1) belong to Jim and me, or to people who he feels a connection to; (2) photos, of Jim and me, of my parents, of Jim’s cousin and his wife (who spent some days at the beach with us last summer) of his former and current therapists and teachers; (3) a random collection of objects, including his iPod and headphones.
Under (1) are: a certain shirt of Jim’s and of mine; my blue laptop case, which Charlie now uses to hold the random items of (3). He has taken to bringing his “blue case” wherever he goes (though not to school) and often walks with it tucked securely under his left arm, and did so today as we went for a brisk pre-dinner walk in Hoboken, near where Frank Sinatra was born on Monroe Street.
Before going to Hoboken, we had made a trip to Target, in need of light bulbs and other mundane households items. The aisles were predictably jammed with holiday shoppers, seeking good deals on toys, electronics, and wrapping paper. Charlie did not want to go in and only assented to after we assured him we would soon be back in the car; he stopped to look at a row of Barney DVDs and walked away when we called him, and asked on the way out for a “green drink” (he took out a container of Mountain Dew, which I replaced with a Sierra Mist). Then it was onto Hoboken, where Charlie, blue case tucked under his arm, made a point of holding onto Jim’s and my hands. We had an early dinner at a restaurant where we had once had to exit stage really really fast from, with Charlie yowling and flailing. Charlie, after making a bit of a big deal about piling up our coats in a corner of a booth and placing his Spiderman gloves on top, sat down next to Jim and was careful to dip his French fries thoroughly in the ketchup. We stopped at Starbucks for coffee and hot chocolate and drove home in the rain, Charlie requesting driving-with-the-avengers”>one of his favorite CDs and looking at the lights in Newark and its environs, from high up in the Skyway.
It seemed to be just what Charlie wanted tonight, and even what he wants.
Same for Jim and me too.
Unfortunately my children have been commercialized, and I hate it even if I did contribute to it. I don’t know Charlie except from your posts, and I could think of tons of things to get him. Body board, surf boarf, wet suit, pool noodles, passes to the pool. Or a picture/album of him in action (surfing, swimming) or even better some video of him in action and with still shots with his favorite music playing as the soundtrack. Have a happy holiday!
Great ideas, thank you! He does love photos; usually takes them out of albums.
They make some pretty durable digital cameras these days — Charlie might like one to take his own photos with.
Maizie is pretty easy to buy for. It has been the same every year, barbies, polly pockets or groovy girls. We have moved on from baby toys but if we had them in the house she would play with those too. Moving on to the more age appropriate toys has been a slow process. She also plays in the same way over and over. It can be hard for other kids because she wants to repeat the scene she knows and gets upset when it changes.
Maizie loves the photo books you can make on Kodak Gallery.com. Every now and then I will make her one of those. I think it is interesting that the things Charlie does enjoy, like photos of family and items that he has a connection to show how much he loves everyone. A personal connection. Very sweet. I am glad you had a wonderful night out!
So, what do you do about holidays? Just keep it on the down low and not buy the toys he is not yet ready to play with or do you buy some? Seems like it would be a tough balance. Does he notice other children’s gifts and wonder? What do you tell all of the family who want to buy him things?
Ever since I showed my daughter how to do a Google image search, she’s been printing out pages and pages of things she wants. Of course, some of it is out of print or discontinued (no car thank goodness!), but many things can be purchased online and it gives me an idea of what she’s interested in at the moment. She loves places/travel, soft, blue things, disney princesses, the stars/moon/night, and music so those items are always a hit. She’s actually easier to buy for than her NT siblings!
Charlie does not notice other children’s gifts too much—-among my relatives, he is the next to the youngest (there’s a new baby). He often seems more interested in the ribbons and wrapping paper and slowly warms to the gifts.
Cameras and photos books sounds good—-ideas to pass on to the relatives, thank you!
Eleanor is also not much interested in gifts, although she enjoys decorating the Christmas tree, the displays in the stores and, surprisingly, the crowds.
A couple of things that are not officially “gifts” that we get to mark the holiday season that she enjoys very much are Playmobil advent calendars, and making gingerbread houses–especially the decor.
A few years ago—-I was Class Mom—I brought in a gingerbread house kit for Charlie’s house to make. We had to use glue—-
My daughter wants whatever her little sister asks for. I’m lucky because they’re not too far apart in age and Terisa (the younger daughter) is pretty mature in her likes. Amber (my daughter with autism) is happiest with crafts items, though. Anything she can do with her hands.
Charlie’s not one for crafts but I’ve had this idea of getting some kind of kit (to make ornaments, perhaps) and doing some last minute homemade gifts.