What Role Does Religion Play in Adoption?
I have to admit that we never Baptized or Christened AJ.
Why?
He was already Baptized in the Russian Orthodox Church, or so we were told (he has a small cross as “proof”).
But the reason we did not re-baptize him in our faith is that 1. we did not have a church to call home and 2. we knew that the Russian Orthodox Church was part of his heritage and we did not want to take that from him. Our belief is that if he ever wanted to chose a faith other than the ROC than he could do that on his own.
A friend of mine from the Chicago Moms Blog seems to have similar views. However, because both of her daughter’s grandparents are religious she and her husband decided to Christen her daughter…a choice I stand behind because it is something we will probably do for The Bebe, as he will NOT be Baptized or Christened when he joins our family.
The problem is that now that I would like to Baptize The Bebe I feel that I should Baptize the boys together, in one faith.
What do you think?
There are several things to consider in this: do you have any record as proof of baptism for AJ? If not, then he will most likely run into trouble when seeking other rites and sacraments in the ROC. While baptism is a grace conveying sacrament, and God probably knows about it, most churches will want to see some kind of proof that it happened either in the ROC or some other church in the ecumenical family.
Also, while the ROC might be AJ’s cultural heritage, if your family worships in some other church, it will, most likely, be his first choice, unless you continue to take him to a ROC regularly. If you make him aware of his heritage in the ROC and help him seek it out, he can make a conscious choice later to go either way.
I know you will never suprass his curiosity or his desire for whichever faith he chooses through his life. For him the door will be open. So I’d say, go for baptizing the two boys together: it will be a very special event!
Just curious….you said you did not have a church to call home at the time. Do you now? I think that baptism is a social ceremony to some and a religious ceremony to others. What does the baptism mean to you? We all choose our own religion when we become adults. If the child isn’t going to be raised in the ROC, then will the baptism have any meaning for him other than a link to his past? I belong to a church where baptism takes place when the child is 8 (or any age after that) so that s/he can have some understanding about what it really means. I once met a man who had been baptised in every church possible, “Just to cover my bases.” I suppose what I am trying to say is does he really care right now? After reading the Chicago Mom story, I think the social ceremony for the parents, which translated into a religious ceremony for the grandparents has probably been a really important bonding experience for all. It is nice to give our children that sense of history.
You both are right. We don’t have a church right now…We never found one when we moved back home because it has always been too hard to take AJ to church and have him sit in one place. I have heard rumors of a special needs Sunday School at one of the local churches (and the one we like) but we just have not done it.
But, I also think that having a ceremony for the two of them would be a great way to link the two of them together.
We had the boys baptised a year after their adoption. Our oldest son was 4 yr. old at the time. Now he’s 7, and he remembers his baptism with his brother. Whatever you decide, it will be wonderful for your sons.
Marcie, It is a wonderful idea to have the boys baptised together with family there. It is a symbol of your commitment to God and the church you have chosen.
Many local churches have Sunday Schools available for pre-schoolers. Or, take your parents offer up and let them babysit while you search out the church that meets your needs. The religious community can be a huge support for you with a special needs child and a new baby.
I say find a church now and have an adoption ceremony for both boys when the new baby comes home.
Thanks mom…perhaps I will take my parents offer…:) We have always like First Baptist even though we are not Baptist. We love the community they offer.